We Just Can't
by gnrkrystle
Summary: Draco and Hermione can't be together. Or can they? Takes place both at Hogwarts and Post-Hogwarts. Summary is lame. M for a reason.
1. Prologue

**A/N: As some of you know, I've acquired an amazing Beta and am having all my stories edited. This one is finally finished and being posted as of 1/3/13. A special thank you to Rusty Weasley for being the best beta on the face of the earth. You rock and I'm forever indebted to you, sir! :) Enjoy! **

**Prologue**

* * *

The sheet barely covered his manhood as he lay on his back, arms stretched behind his head, chest still heaving from the workout they'd both just been through. The dip of his trim waist below the sheet was something women dreamed about, but Hermione was busying herself with pulling her knickers back on.

"Granger, what's the rush?" Draco drawled, looking at her from the side.

"We shouldn't have done this. I've...I've got to go," Hermione said, looking around for her shirt. It didn't matter how many times she'd done this, she always said the same thing. She always went to him, all the same.

Draco sighed and rolled his eyes, turning to face her, and propping up on one arm. "Right, of course," he said, "and, Merlin knows, you'll never do it again." The laughter in his voice irritated her, but the truth behind his words stung more.

"I won't," Hermione said, defiantly looking back at him with a cutting glare.

Draco smirked then. "Love, you and I both know that's not true. We've been doing this for, what, five years now?" he said. "It's always the same. We fight and fuck like there's no tomorrow, then you dart from the room swearing it's the last time. But it never is, and you know it," Draco said, his own gaze growing hard as he finished. "Why even fight it anymore."

"This isn't right," Hermione said, struggling to keep herself from crying. She pulled her jeans up her legs, but before she could bother with the buttons, Draco reached out and pulled her back down next to him on the bed.

"You're not talking to your pathetic husband, Granger," Draco said, his voice low and threatening. "I don't buy that 'woe is me, what am I doing' act you've perfected," he sneered.

"What do you want from me?" Hermione finally asked, looking up at him and meeting his harsh glare. "I'm married. We want to have a baby. I...I can't do this anymore."

Draco held her tightly by the arm, leveling his gaze at her. "A baby?" he asked, his voice awed and slightly concerned.

"Yes," Hermione said, not even bothering to fight from his gasp. Part of her didn't want to anyway. That was why she always ended up in this mess. "You know I want kids."

"Not his. You don't want that oaf's stupid brats," Draco bit out. Hermione scowled at him in return.

"That's my husband you are talking about!" Hermione shouted indignantly, though it was a little difficult as she was currently leaning toward him on the bed with no shirt on. It put a crimp in her indignation and self-righteousness.

"Yes," Draco sneered, sitting up to get close to her face. "I'm well aware that he's your husband, but I don't think you were giving it that much thought when you were riding me and screaming my name just moments ago."

"You're a pig," Hermione scoffed, moving away from him, but not off the bed. He wasn't wrong, but his words only turned the knife of guilt inside her guts.

"You don't want his kids, so why the hell are you having them?" Draco asked, his tone reverting to the bored quality it usually held, but Hermione knew him well enough to know he we masking rage over the thought of her leaving him for good. As much as he hurt her, she wasn't dumb enough to believe she meant nothing to him.

"I want kids," Hermione clarified again.

"But not his," Draco countered.

"What do you want from me?" Hermione cried in frustration, moving from the bed and searching for her shirt. Anything to remove herself from those piercing blue eyes.

"I want to know why you are binding yourself to him this way. You know you don't love him. You know you..." Draco said, but Hermione cut him off.

"Don't," she said, whipping around. "You don't get to say it, not after what you did."

Draco's features softened slightly and he sighed. "I'm just saying that a baby is a huge commitment. More of a commitment than that ridiculous wedding you agreed to."

"Right, and that's why this is over," Hermione said her voice holding more conviction than she actually felt.

"Don't do it, Hermione," Draco said, his eyes and tone serious.

"Why not?" Hermione snapped, pulling her shirt over her head. "You'll miss your fuck buddy? Think you might actually have to put the effort into getting another stupid girl to fall for your games?" Hermione scoffed. "Not that I have any delusions that I'm the only one who warms your bed."

Draco sighed in frustration. "We've been over this a million times."

"Yes, and we needn't rehash it," Hermione said, turning around to face him again. "This was supposed to end years ago. I should have put an end to it then."

Draco wasn't letting her go without a fight, though. He pulled the thin sheet around his waist, tucking it in at the side. "Don't do this," he said again, his voice pleading. She'd heard this tone before, but she knew she couldn't give in.

"Goodbye, Draco," Hermione said, trying so hard to fight his presence as his scent and the scent of them together enveloped her. "I won't be coming back."

"Is this some kind of punishment," Draco asked. "Because I couldn't do what you needed me to?"

"No," Hermione said. "I've given up that dream a long time ago. This is because I can't do this anymore. It's too hard for me. I've been playing this game for five years and I'm tired now. Let it go."

With that, she turned on her heel and left Draco standing in a sheet in the middle of the small Muggle hotel room they had locked themselves in for the last few hours. Never had she actually left. Usually they fought, then he coaxed her back into bed until the early morning hours when they were forced their separate ways, all the while knowing they'd meet again soon enough.

This time, though, Draco thought she might be serious. And the thought terrified him.


	2. Head Girl and Boy

**Head Girl and Boy**

* * *

_September 1, 1998_

"Hermione, who's Head Boy?" Harry asked as she joined her friends at the table for the opening feast. She'd been asked to stay behind to speak with Flitwick, the current Deputy Headmaster to McGonagall's Headmistress.

"Draco," she said, quietly looking down at her plate. She didn't want a raucous uproar about it. It wasn't as if she understood McGonagall's logic on the matter, but what was done was done, and she'd just have to deal with it. The last thing she needed was Harry and Ron participating in some sort of macho pissing contest in front of her new colleague.

"Malfoy!" Ron shrieked.

"Ron, do shut up. Yes, Draco Malfoy is Head Boy. No, I don't know what Professor McGonagall was thinking. No, he didn't try anything. And yes, I am perfectly aware that he's an evil git." Hermione sighed in frustration. "Anything else?"

"We just want to make sure you are okay," Harry said, his voice softer than Ron's.

"I'm fine, and as you well know, I can take care of myself." Hermione smiled. "It was alongside the two of you last year on the search for horcruxes, remember. I stood beside you in battle when you defeated Voldemort," she added. "I can certainly handle a brat like Malfoy."

"What's he doing back here anyway?" Ron asked, looking over at the Slytherin table where Draco was seated between Pansy and Goyle. "I thought he'd be rotting in Azkaban."

"No," Harry said. "He saved us at the Manor. In the end, it was enough to let him off. His mother too." Harry sighed.

"Lucius didn't get so lucky," Hermione scoffed. The patriarch of the Malfoy family was currently sitting in Azkaban where he'd spend the rest of his life for crimes against humanity.

After the war, people in their year had been granted an extra term to finish their N.E.W.T.s. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had been given special privileges to pass their N.E.W.T.s automatically, as a reward for saving the wizarding world but were not interested. Harry wanted a break from the real world after the hellacious year on the run, and one more year with Ginny sounded fine by him, too. Hermione couldn't pass up the opportunity to spend another more year in the place she loved to learn, so it was a no-brainer for her. Ron didn't want to go back to the Burrow and do nothing, so he came along as well.

"Yeah, well his evil spawn belongs locked away too," Ron muttered. Harry didn't say anything but Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Look, I'm not going to be best friends with the guy, but we will have to live and work together. And that said, you two are to be civil to him. I'm not going to have you both throwing the year away attacking Malfoy. If he does something, bring it to me, or McGonagall," Hermione said, her voice in full-on lecture tone.

"I'm not looking to start any fights," Harry said, pulling Ginny tighter to his side. "If Malfoy stays out of my way, I'll stay out of his." Ron reluctantly agreed, but he seemed far less happy about it.

* * *

Hermione sighed to herself when she walked in on Draco practicing his Quidditch fitness on the common room floor for the hundredth time. They'd been sharing common quarters for over a month and he seemed to have no real desire to wear a shirt in her presence. It was getting down right annoying.

"Can you at least do this somewhere else?" she asked, dropping her heavy bag onto the table.

"Sorry, Granger, have to keep fit," he said, winking up at her. He was so bloody full of himself it was astounding. He'd spent about the first week back at Hogwarts with his nose down, seemingly repentant for his actions, but was soon back to his narcissistic attitude.

Sure, things had changed. He never called her names, and he was even somewhat friendly when he wasn't driving her insane with his near nakedness and giant ego. He was bloody gorgeous, but that attitude infuriated her. At least he didn't seem to be a racist prick anymore. Or he was hiding it well. Either way, it was an improvement.

"I have to do my homework, Malfoy, and so do you," Hermione said. "How do you expect to stay Head Boy if you don't keep up your grades?"

Getting up from his position, doing crunches on the floor, he plopped down on the couch and smirked at her all at the same time. It was a sexy habit he had that annoyed the hell out of her. _He's an evil git!_ She reminded herself with little result. "My grades are just fine, Granger," he said.

"And you know you could pass the N.E.W.T.s with your eyes shut, so why the hell are you studying like every day holds the most important exam of your life?" Draco asked, patting the seat next to him. Hermione sighed and joined him on the couch. Their truce was comfortable, and she didn't want to be a bitch and risk him going back to his old behavior. Besides, she was getting a little burnt out on school and it was only October.

"Let me ask you something Granger," Draco said, looking at her curiously.

"Only if I can ask you something first," Hermione countered.

"Okay, go ahead," Draco said.

"What happened to you?" Hermione asked.

"Care to elaborate?" Draco asked.

"I mean, not once have you called me Mudblood. You haven't terrorized the first years as much. You are being civil to me. You don't press Harry's buttons anymore. At first, I thought the war...changed you. That, maybe you were still dealing with everything. But you aren't so completely different. You are still an egotistical git. You are friends with all the old Slytherins. You don't talk to me that often outside these walls. I'm just trying to figure you out," Hermione explained, surprised at herself for having said exactly what she was thinking.

"You'll never figure me out, Granger," Draco sneered, looking away, and Hermione was sure she'd stepped in it. She bit her lip, and wished she'd just kept her mouth shut.

"The war _did_ change me," Draco said, still not looking at her. "How could it not? I don't give a crap about your blood, nor anyone else's. I am still friends with my old friends because they _are_ my friends," he said finally.

"I see," Hermione said.

"You know, you are a pain in the ass, Granger." Draco said, finally looking at her. "Here we were having a fine time and you want to make it deep."

"I just don't like not knowing what to expect from you," Hermione clarified.

"Have I attacked you? Have I hurt you, or made fun of you?" Draco asked. Not even waiting for her answer, he continued. "No. And I won't. I'm not like that anymore. But I _am _a Malfoy, and that comes with obligations."

"Fine," Hermione said, wanting to get off the topic of conversation as soon as possible. "So, what was your question?"

The smirk was back on Draco's lips when she asked. "Are you a virgin, Granger?"

Hermione's eyes bugged out of her head. "That's none of your business," she sputtered awkwardly. "I'm going to my room."

"Not so fast," Draco said, pulling her back down. "I answered your question, and that was none of your business either."

"Why could you possibly want to know?" Hermione asked, shifting uncomfortably next to him.

"I find myself intrigued by you, Granger. The whole time I've known you, you were just Granger, the know-it-all priss, but I'm starting to wonder about you..." Draco trailed off, eyeing her closely.

Hermione scoffed. "Think I'm holding secret S&M classes in my room while you are in bed?" She couldn't help but smirk at that.

"Of course not," Draco chuckled. "I didn't say you were _that_ different."

"I see," Hermione said.

"You aren't going to get out of answering this question. I promise, I won't tell anyone," Draco said, more and more curious.

"Wand oath?" Hermione asked, cocking her eyebrow up at him. She wasn't born yesterday. A Slytherin could _not_ be trusted at his word, no matter how much he may have changed.

Draco sighed, "Fine," he said, pulling out his wand. Hermione performed the spell and stood up. Draco was about to protest as she walked to her room.

"I'm not a virgin," Hermione said, quietly as she ascended the stairs to her bedchambers. "I lost my virginity last summer before Harry, Ron and I went on the run."

"Wait," Draco said, skipping the stairs to join her at her door. "Please don't tell me it was with one of them. I don't think I could stomach it."

Hermione smirked at that. "No," she said. "Just a Muggle boy in my neighborhood."

She darted into her room, leaving Draco intrigued and confused behind her.

* * *

Draco found that he was enjoying having a tentative sort of friendship with Hermione. It made the living quarters much more comfortable when he wasn't constantly brooding and she wasn't nagging. After the hell that was Sixth Year and last, Draco didn't want to have any more drama in his life.

Not everyone agreed though. Goyle had completely changed after what happened to Crabbe in the Room of Requirement. He was quiet, timid, and often introverted. Pansy was constantly annoyed, more so than usual. Her feelings about Muggle-borns had not changed, nor had many Slytherins. Unfortunately, the defeat of Voldemort didn't change the minds of many Purebloods. Especially those that followed his ideas in the first place.

Draco was a different case. He'd seen what the prejudice did. He'd watched Granger bleed on his drawing room floor, and he _knew_ she was no different than he. His mother was a different matter. She might have saved the life of Harry Potter, but she was not going to embrace the Golden Trio any time soon. Old habits, and prejudices, died hard he guessed. He just felt lucky he had some clarity on the issue.

But, really, as much as their relationship had proved easier to manage than he'd originally thought it would be, Hermione Granger was his biggest challenge. She was an enigma, and he wanted to get closer to her. He wanted to know everything about her, and see what made her tick.

Months had passed since her revelation that she was not the virgin everyone at Hogwarts thought she was, and his brain was full of thoughts about it. While he was only picturing Hermione wrapped around him, he had to admit, considering that she wasn't so pure as her little friends probably thought, turned him on.

He wasn't oblivious. He knew she wanted him too. She wasn't as subtle in her gawking as he was. She was a Gryffindor after all. He was a sneaky snake though, and he saw everything. Every time her breath caught when he exited the bathroom in nothing but a towel; the times she stared at him as he 'forgot' to wear a shirt down to the common room, he noticed and reveled in it. He was going to burst if he continued to living in this high strung sexual tension without doing something about it. But this was a very delicate situation. He didn't know how to play it, exactly.

"I can't be distracted, now, Malfoy," Hermione said, coming into the common room with an armful of books.

"Whoa, Granger," Draco laughed out loud. "Who said I was going to distract you?"

"Because you do every night," Hermione said, blushing instantly when she heard how she sounded.

"Do I?" Draco asked, stepping closer to her, and knocking her books out of her hands.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked, but her voice was hushed at his closeness. She hated herself for her weakness, but Draco was beautiful, in a way she'd never been able to notice before he became an actual human being to her.

"Nothing," Draco said, moving even closer, totally invading her personal space. "Let me ask you something."

"What?" Hermione breathed, trying desperately to hold onto some sort of control of her emotions. He was entirely too close.

"If there were no societal rules, or friendships to consider, would you fuck me?" Draco asked, his voice dropping to a sexy drawl as he stood so close to her, she could feel his heat blending into her. Her brain was fuzzy and his question sent shockwaves down her body.

"Wh-What?" she stuttered, shaking her head to try and clear it. Nothing worked.

"You heard me," Draco said, moving his hand up to run along the hem of her shirt.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Hermione pleaded, looking him in the eyes. She saw lust reflected back at her, but she couldn't understand it. Regardless of their friendship, Draco Malfoy couldn't be serious about this. Moreover, she didn't know how safe it was for either of them if he was.

"You might be dense as a Gryffindor, but you can't tell me you don't know that I want you, Granger," Draco said, moving closer to whisper in her ear, his breath ghosting over her sensitive skin. "And I know you want me." Her reactions were so readable, he knew that he had her on the edge of admitting everything to him.

"B-But...we can't...I mean..." Hermione started, unable to concentrate with him gripping her hips and pulling her close to him.

"Sure we can," Draco said. "You want it don't you?"

Hermione swallowed hard before nodding. No use hiding it anymore. Her arousal had to be obvious by now, as her nipples were biting into his chest and her breath was coming out in ragged pants as her resolve waned.

Draco didn't wait for her to second-guess herself; he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her up the stairs to his room two at a time. He couldn't believe how easy it had been, but he was grateful he didn't have to play the silly games he usually did when it came to stubborn girls like Hermione. His need for her was palpable. His desire was stronger than he could ever remember.

"Draco, maybe we shouldn't..." Hermione started when he pushed the door shut behind them.

"Shhh," Draco said, pulling her by the arm so that she was pressed against him. "Don't think." Hermione nodded again and let him pull her into their first kiss.

"Mmm," Hermione moaned as his tongue pushed past her lips and danced with hers. His arms were strong around her and she felt his hands pushing up her shirt. It was all going too fast and not fast enough at the same time. Pushing his shirt up as well, she flung it across the room when she pulled it off.

Hers quickly joined it. Draco pushed her to the bed and fell on top of her, all while pulling at the zipper of her skirt. Hermione, for her part, couldn't get him out of his clothes fast enough. She didn't know what they were doing, or what it meant, but she'd never felt this amazing in her entire life.

Finally, after several moments of tearing at each other's clothes, they were naked and Draco settled between Hermione's legs. "Fuck, you are wet," he groaned as his cock came into contact with her folds.

"Please, now," Hermione panted, digging her nails into Draco's back and spreading her legs wider.

Draco didn't need to be asked twice, pumping back, he surged forward, pushing into her with rough force. "Draco," Hermione sighed, throwing her head back as he filled her. She hadn't had sex in over a year, and with himit hadn't felt anything like this.

"Yes," Draco hissed, pumping in and out of her shallowly at first. This was so much better than he imagined. Her silky walls hugged him tightly and her intoxicating moans were enough to make his cock explode in seconds.

"Fuck, Draco, right there," Hermione moaned, arching her back as he hit her spot over and over. Her legs tightened around him so that his thrusts grew deeper and deeper.

"I'm not gonna last. Next time I'll fuck your brains out, I swear," Draco slurred his promise, and he hoped there were many 'next times'.

"I'm close," Hermione warned, but her voice turned to a high pitched moan when his fingers reached between them to tweak her clit as he sped up his thrusts. Within seconds both came hard and loudly, shuddering in each other's arms. In all of three minutes, they'd changed the course of their friendship forever.

Draco would have been embarrassed at his lack of stamina, but he felt too sated to care at the moment. Besides, if he had his way, he'd get plenty of opportunity to show Hermione that he wasn't a quick trigger. Rolling off of her, he tried to pull her back into his arms, but Hermione wiggled out of his reach.

"That was very stupid," Hermione said, pulling his sheet around herself to protect her modesty, but it was rather pointless at that point.

Draco sighed. "Come on, Granger. What's the problem? We are both single. You obviously wanted that as much as I did."

Hermione shot him a dirty look. "The problem, _Malfoy_, is that it's not right to use people as humping posts. This means nothing to you, and...and I let my hormones take over. It was reckless and stupid. And I'm going to go," Hermione said, pulling her shirt on. She didn't bother with her skirt, it was torn into pieces on his floor anyway.

"Granger, get back in bed," Draco sighed. "How the hell do you know what I'm thinking or feeling? If I wanted a humping post, there are about forty girls in this castle I could use."

"Fine," Hermione huffed, not getting back into the bed. "So, you wanted to know what the famous Hermione Granger was like in bed. Congrats, now you know."

"Hermione, what the hell is your problem?" Draco asked, sitting up finally. "You slept with that Muggle kid the summer before last. I doubt very seriously that you gave a rat's ass about him," he countered.

Hermione had to admit that was true. She'd basically used him to get the sexual experience. But this was different. This was Draco Malfoy. "You aren't some Muggle boy I never have to see again," Hermione said. "We should just forget this ever happened."

She started to leave, but Draco moved off the bed, not even bothering to cover his nakedness. Hermione blushed but tried to look away as he moved closer. "Not going to happen," Draco said, pulling her to face him again. "I'm not using you, and I'm pretty sure, you aren't using me. So, just forget about the outside and let it happen."

"And then what?" Hermione asked. "Outside these walls, nothing's different?"

"Do you really think it would be smart to tell Potter and the Weasel that we are fucking?" Draco asked. Hermione flinched at his words, but couldn't disagree with his logic.

"I don't know," Hermione said. "It doesn't seem right."

"Just come back to bed. Let me make up for that entirely too short performance, and stop thinking," Draco said.

"One question first," Hermione said. Draco nodded his assent. "Are you just doing this as a conquest?"

"No," Draco said. "I don't know why I'm drawn to you like this, but I am. I'm not trying to hurt you." His eyes showed how serious he was and Hermione finally agreed to join him in bed.

That was the first night they spent together, but it wasn't the last.


	3. Getting Closer

**Growing Closer**

* * *

_January 1999_

"Merlin, I've missed this," Draco moaned against Hermione's neck as his teeth nipped a path down to her collarbone.

"Mmm, me too," Hermione groaned, pushing her body against Draco's even though he had her pressed against the door of her bedroom. That was as far as they made it before they couldn't keep their hands off each other any longer.

Christmas break had been near torture at the Burrow. She'd gotten so used to Draco in her bed nearly every night that the dry spell was driving her mad. Not ten minutes after the school was dismissed from the Second Term Welcoming Feast, Hermione found herself in his arms, practically begging him to take her.

"Was going bloody mad, watching you from across the hall without being able to touch you," Draco continued, thrusting his cloth covered cock into her stomach. She really needed to get that blasted door open.

"Shut up and fuck me," Hermione groaned, pulling herself up and wrapping her legs around his waist. His cock jumped at her words and he couldn't believe how much he'd taken the little Gryffindor out of her shell in the short amount of time they'd been going at it.

He knew things about her that her little friends would never dream to know. He knew how she liked to be licked, stroked, touched, kissed, and what she looked like when she was coming undone. He was honored to see her like that, and it was enough for him for now. She was exquisite, and he loved that he had her completely, even if they were the only ones who knew it.

"I'm trying to fuck you, Granger. Do you want to do this up against the wall, or what?" he countered, already pushing her skirt up her thighs.

"I think you'll find," she said, whispering huskily into his ear, "that I'm all ready for you."

Draco nearly came when he felt his knuckles brush against her bare wetness. _Bloody minx didn't have any knickers on._Within seconds his cock was free and he was sheathed inside her, thrusting into her with all his force. How had he ever lived without this?

* * *

"You know, Ron asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him," Hermione said, playing with the edge of the sheet that was covering her body as she lay next to Draco in bed. She'd given up any notion that she could avoid falling into the sack with him day after day. He was irresistible, and, truth be told, the relationship she had with him was amazing, as long as they were inside their own chambers.

They fucked and made love with passion she didn't know was possible, but that wasn't all of it. He was brilliant. He matched her intellect and challenged her in a way that no one ever had. She enjoyed the time out of bed just as much as the time in bed.

"For Valentine's Day?" Draco asked, his tone bored, but there was a definite edge to it.

"Yes," Hermione said, nervously biting her lip. She hoped Draco wouldn't freak out. It wasn't like they were exclusive, though she believed they had an understanding.

"And what did you say?" Draco asked. It wasn't as if he had a right to tell her what to do. He had told her not to think, hadn't he? He had told her not to worry, and that what they had didn't extend past their quarters.

"I told him I'd think about it," Hermione said, looking at her lover defiantly. "It's not as if I have any other plans for Valentine's Day, is it? And I'm sure you and Pansy already have a wonderful evening planned," she said, irritated at herself for letting her own jealousy show through.

"Do what you want," Draco said, turning away from her, but not banishing her from his bed, as she'd expected. He was pouting, as he had a tendency to do.

"You are a piece of work, you know that?" Hermione said, her voice laced with irritation.

"Yeah?" Draco asked sarcastically, turning back to her. "If you want to go out with the Weasel, don't let me stop you."

"What exactly do you want from me, Draco?" Hermione asked, at her wits end. "I don't want to go with him. But I can't easily say no without other plans. And you certainly aren't going to take me out. What should I do? If I go, you will act like a baby. If I don't go, he will throw a royal fit. See, this is exactly why I knew we shouldn't have started this," Hermione huffed, moving to get out of bed, but Draco stopped her, pushing her to the mattress with his body as he rolled on top of her, his naked body pressing into hers and she had to control the urge to moan at the smooth skin of his chest pressing against her.

"You know it has to be this way. The thought of you going out with that idiot makes my blood boil, but what can I do?" he asked, looking into her eyes with intensity. "And for the record, I'm not going out with Pansy or anyone else that evening."

Hermione's eyes grew wide. "Why?"

"For a bright witch, you are bloody stupid sometimes," he scoffed, rolling off of her when he was sure she wouldn't run again.

"Malfoy, can you ever just say what you mean?" Hermione sighed. "Just be honest with me for once."

"I'm telling you, you bloody moron, that I don't want to be with another woman. I want to be with you. I thought we'd do something that night. But if you want to go off with Weasley, I won't stop you," Draco huffed. As much as she hated to admit it, his pouting was downright adorable.

Hermione couldn't help herself. She grinned from ear to ear. At least he was admitting his feelings. It was a start. "So, I'll tell him I can't come. But you know this will only lead to questions. Since you've made it clear that I'm your dirty little secret, I just thought you'd want to avoid that."

Draco sighed. This whole thing was getting so complicated. He wanted to spend every moment with Hermione. She was beautiful, brilliant, funny, and amazing. But he couldn't. If he openly dated her, his mother's heart would break. His friends would never understand, and Merlin knew what it would do to the company he had to take over upon graduation. He had duties. When he looked at her, he often forgot them.

But she was right. They couldn't be too suspicious. "Fine," he sighed. "Go with the Weasel."

Hermione sighed and snuggled into Draco. "You know I don't want to. Maybe if we just..."

"No, Hermione," Draco said, looking seriously at her. "We can't tell people. We just can't."

"Fine," Hermione said, defeated. She didn't relish telling her friends about them either, but a nagging part of her was concerned that he was so intent on keeping her a secret from everyone important in his life.

* * *

"Yes, yes, please...don't stop!" Hermione begged as she allowed Draco to push her over the edge with his tongue. They'd been going at it all night, and still he made her come. She didn't know her body could even react like this, but no matter what, Draco was able to make her scream.

"Draco!" she cried as she came hard, shuddering around him. He was amazing at that, and seemed to love giving it as much as she liked getting it.

He climbed up her lithe body, settling next to her as she came down from her orgasmic high. "You're beautiful," he breathed. It wasn't the first time he'd said it. In the months they'd been together, he said it often, always with the same awed tone to his voice. At first it unnerved her, but as she got used to it, she began to revel in his awe. He truly found her beautiful. No matter what else existed between them. He did want her, there was no denying that.

"That was amazing," Hermione said, rolling over to face him, once she got control of her body again.

He smiled at her, one of those real smiles that she rarely saw from him, and it warmed her heart. But it also brought her back to the same insecurity she had when it came to him. The longer they kept up this 'relationship' the more confusing her feelings got until she got to the point where she was now, emotionally attached, to say the least. "Draco, what are we doing?"

"I believe we are shagging each other senseless," Draco joked, but the seriousness on her face caused him to sigh, settling in for the serious discussion he knew he'd put off for too long. It was only a matter of time before she pushed him harder on his reluctance to take their relationship out of the Head Dorm, but he'd hoped he could get through at least another month before that point. It seemed Hermione had other ideas.

The fact was that the school year was coming to an end. They'd just returned from Easter Break, and after the discussion he'd had with his mother, he knew any dreams he had of bringing Hermione home to meet the family, were total fantasies. They had just under three months left in the safety of the Head's Dorm, and then...well, he wasn't sure.

"Draco, I'm serious. I don't relish being the first of us to admit this, but you are important to me. I...I think I'm in love with you. And...and I just don't know where this is going." She nervously twitched next to him, praying her instincts about his feelings were correct. She knew he cared about her. He wouldn't put so much on the line for their relationship if he didn't, but she'd never felt like this before, and that came with its own insecurities.

Her eyes were wet with tears and he felt a pain in his chest, knowing his actions caused her this insecurity. Truth be told, he knew he was in love with her. It had been about five months that they'd been in this fucked up relationship, and he'd never felt more alive, or happier in his whole life. He hated to think what things would be like when they were eventually forced to part ways.

"Hermione," he breathed, cupping her cheek. "I...I love you too. We are doing what is natural. Come on, don't think about this."

"How can I not?" Hermione asked. "When school is over, what is going to happen?"

"I don't know," Draco said uncomfortably.

Hermione sniffled, and turned away. "That's not enough for me. Not anymore."

She slipped out of bed then, pulling her robe around her. "Hermione, wait," Draco called, but she was gone. "Bugger all," he groaned to himself. Pulling his boxers on, he shuffled out of his room and down the hall to Hermione's not even bothering to knock. He had to fix this somehow, though he wasn't really sure how he could.

Her door was open to him, and he pushed his way through, his heart stopping in his chest as he heard her sniffling into her pillow. "Go'way" Hermione groaned, barely audible. Draco just ignored her and slipped into her bed behind her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tight to him.

"Hermione," he whispered into her ear. "You know how I feel about you."

"But it's not enough, is it?" Hermione responded, wiping at her face.

"I'm trying," Draco said. "I'm under a lot of pressure. I've got the company, and I have to take care of my Mum and everything. I want to be with you. Only you. You know that."

"But in the end, you will choose your mother, and your friends, and your company," Hermione countered.

Draco sighed. It was true, he probably would, but he didn't want to. Didn't that count for something? "Please, don't do this," Draco said. Malfoys never pleaded, but he knew that pleading was the only thing that was going to keep her with him, even for the short run.

"It hurts, Draco. Can't you understand that?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, I do. It doesn't feel great for me, either. I'll do everything I can to keep us together. Please, just don't give up on me," Draco said, pulling her face to look at him. The sad desperation on his face was enough for her to give in and she nodded into his chest as he rubbed her back and lulled her to sleep.


	4. Divided

**Divided**

* * *

_June 1999_

"Can you believe this is the end?" Ginny asked, bouncing excitedly in her seat at dinner a few weeks before the end of the year.

"Well, we do still have two weeks left," Hermione laughed. Inside, she was freaking out. The last thing she wanted was to leave Hogwarts, but as her friends got more and more excited about graduation, she had to play along. The truth was, she was terrified of what would happen after they left the hallowed halls of Hogwarts.

She'd already been accepted to the healing program at St. Mungo's, pending her N.E.W.T. results, but that wasn't really what she was worried about. Draco ardently refused to talk about the future, and Hermione found herself hopelessly, weakly, and embarrassingly allowing him to avoid the topic all the time. Draco had become the single most important thing to her, and their future was still so...unclear.

"I know, but everything is basically coming to an end," Ginny said. She hadn't been as excited about returning to Hogwarts as the other three, so she was more than ready to be done with her education. Her ambitions were to be a mother anyway. Education didn't hold much interest for her anymore.

"As much as I'll miss this place, it will be nice to be out in the real world," Harry said, "without having to save the world," he added with a grin.

"You're right about that, mate. And the Auror training will keep us busy," Ron said, with enthusiasm matching his sister's. Hermione smiled brightly at them, happy her best friends had made a decision on what they wanted to do with their lives, and it didn't include playing for the Chudley Cannons. They were growing up, and she was very proud of them.

"I'm just glad we don't have to go back to the Burrow," Ginny said. "As much as I love the family, I can't handle Mum all the time." It had been decided that Ron, Harry, and Ginny would all move into Grimmauld Place after school was out. Hermione hadn't given her confirmation on the matter. Part of her was holding out hope that Draco would offer her a better option. She knew it was wishful thinking. He'd made no promises to her, at least not without a large amount of guilt on her part, but he _did_ love her. That had to mean something.

"Well, I've got to get back to studying," Hermione said, all of her friends sighed in unison. They couldn't understand why she was working so hard when she was obviously prepared, but she wasn't actually spending most of her time studying anyway. Draco saw to that.

Dashing back to her room, she hoped that she'd find him waiting for her. She'd seen him leave dinner ten minutes before she made her exit. "You took forever," Draco said with a sigh from the couch.

"Sorry," Hermione said. "They were excited about the end of school. I had to pretend to be too."

"Yeah," Draco said absently. He couldn't help but be as unenthused as Hermione about the prospect of leaving Hogwarts.

"Because, you know, in two weeks, this is all over," Hermione said, looking away from him. "I'm just not feeling like celebrating."

"Hermione," Draco sighed, moving from the couch to her side. "We can make this work."

"How?" Hermione asked, looking up at him. She hoped he was right, but so far, such a motion had not been discussed.

"Maybe I can get a flat. I mean, I could still take care of my Mum. And you could move in with me," Draco said, his voice hopeful. He'd been thinking about that very thing for months. "She...she wouldn't have to know right away. I could run the business. I mean, we couldn't be public, but we could be together."

Hermione's eyes brightened. It wasn't ideal. She'd still be his secret, but it was the first time he'd come to her about them staying together post-graduation. "We...we could do that. I mean, eventually you'd tell them, right?"

Draco swallowed at the thought but nodded. "I can't let you go," he whispered in her ear as he held her to him. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Hermione breathed, attacking his lips with hers.

"Mmmm, you are delectable," Draco said, pulling her toward the couch. He didn't think he could make it all the way upstairs. The thought of spending the whole summer with her, locking in a flat of their own, was too exciting.

"I need you," Hermione panted, pulling at his shirt.

"I'm yours," Draco promised as he pushed her back on the couch.

* * *

_Draco,_

_You know it's not possible for you to live on your own. Every Malfoy Head of House has lived in Malfoy Manor since the beginning of the line. The company is just as accessible from home as it is from London, as you well know._

_I'm very surprised to hear that you don't wish to come home. It's been a long year alone here in this large manor, and I assumed my only son would want to spend time with his mother. After what happened with your father being sent away, we are all we have left._

_What am I to tell my friends if my own child won't return home to me? What will the papers say? You must consider that you are not just anyone, Draco. You are a Malfoy. You are the heir to the most powerful Pureblood family in England. I shouldn't have to remind you of these things. The war may be over, and the Dark Lord may be gone, but that doesn't change your role in this world. Moving into a flat in London is not part of the plan, and I cannot allow it._

_I am anxious to see you at graduation next week. I'm very proud of you. Your father is, too. He wishes to see you. I hope you'll consider visiting him when you get home._

_All my love,_

_Mother_

Tears stung Draco's eyes when he re-read his mother's letter. How could he have been so naive to believe his plan would ever work? His mother was right. The _Prophet_ would have a field day if he left his mother in that Manor alone while he lived it up in London. Not to mention what the investors in the company would say.

He hated being a Pureblood. He hated society and his obligations to his family. He loved his mother, more than anything, but right now, he resented her. Hermione was the best thing to ever happen to him, but he couldn't see any way to keep her in his life. There would be no sneaking her into Malfoy Manor. His time would be constantly accounted for, and there was no way it would work.

He could turn his back on his mother, and his destiny. But he knew he didn't have it in him. She gave him life. She was the woman who loved him unconditionally, and he owed her his devotion, or at least, his obedience.

But could he live without Hermione? He didn't know. He loved her. He loved her in a way he'd never thought he could love someone. She was everything he wanted. He couldn't imagine ever being happy with someone else like he was with her. That thought was scary enough in itself.

Draco wiped his cheeks and sighed again. He really only had one option. He just didn't like it.

"Draco, are you here?" Hermione called from the common room. He took a deep breath and pulled himself together before exiting his room, a wide smile on his face.

"Here, darling," he said sarcastically and she rolled her eyes at him.

"I finished my last test," Hermione said excitedly. "Do you have any left?"

"Nope, I finished this morning," Draco said, wrapping both arms around her and kissing her on the forehead.

"Great," Hermione said. "So, what are you doing tonight?"

"You," Draco grinned at her. Hermione smirked back. That was the answer she was hoping for. She'd already begged off Ron and Harry by telling them she was exhausted from the tests and was going straight to bed.

"Bring it on," Hermione said, her voice low and sultry. "I've been waiting for this all day."

* * *

The night before graduation, Draco had set up a beautiful dinner for Hermione, paying off some of the house elves to help him. It was totally romantic and Hermione found herself euphoric. Everything was going perfectly. Soon, they'd have nights like this in their own place, and never have to worry about the trivial problems of being found out in the privacy of their own home.

Of course, she wished she and Draco could be honest about their relationship, but after everything, if they could just be together, she knew she could get him to budge on the other issue. He couldn't possibly want to live in secret forever.

When Draco led her up to his room, she felt something different about the way he touched her, and looked at her. His eyes bore into her as if she'd disappear at any moment as he undressed her and laid her down on the bed.

"Draco, are you okay?" she asked, as he settled, naked, between her legs. His intensity was something she'd never seen from him. Passion was a constant, but he looked at her like she was the only thing in the world at that moment.

"I'm fine," he said, smiling warmly at her. "I just...need to feel you."

"I'm right here," Hermione said, cupping his cheek and bringing his lips down to hers. He entered her slowly and deeply and she sighed in completion as he filled her.

He moved in and out of her, never taking his eyes off of hers. Her beauty made him want to cry, but all he could do was cling to the feeling of her walls around him, and her skin sliding against his. "Merlin, you are so beautiful," Draco breathed, picking up pace. He couldn't take it any longer. He had to come inside her again. He had to feel her spasming around him, one last time, or he'd never be able to do what he had to do.

"So are you," Hermione moaned, feeling her body shudder at the intensity of his gaze. He was making love to her in a way he never had before, and it made her skin hotter and her heart race. She wrapped her arms tighter around him, pulling him flush against her and wrapping her legs tighter around him. They were both close and she wanted to feel ever inch of him.

Draco, for his part, wanted this to last forever, but the tell-tale tingling in his balls told him he was rapidly approaching the edge, and the moment of truth. "I'm going to come," Hermione warned, her breath coming out faster as her climax approached.

"Come for me," Draco commanded, quickening his trusts to join her.

"Draco!" Hermione moaned, clinching around him as she spilled, head-first, into oblivion.

"Oh, Hermione..." Draco gasped, letting her walls milk him dry as he shot his seed deep inside her.

He remained inside her, softening, but nestled in her wetness for a long while. Hermione's fingers ran along his scalp as she held him tightly to her. "Mmmm," she sighed, contented. "My toes are tingling."

Draco smiled sadly and rolled off of her, letting himself slip from her finally. "What's wrong?" Hermione asked, turning his face to look at her. He looked decidedly upset considering that amazing sex they'd just had. Her heart beat faster in her chest, hoping something wasn't really wrong. Why would he look so sad if their lives were just beginning together.

"I don't know how to say this, Hermione," Draco started, looking away from her.

"You're scaring me. Just say it," Hermione said, propping up on an elbow to look at him.

"We...we can't move in together," Draco said, looking up at her, but then away again.

"What?" Hermione asked, wondering if her hearing was off.

"I have to move back to the Manor. We can't...we can't do this anymore. It won't work," Draco said, his voice void of emotion, but she could tell he was holding his real feelings back.

Tears stung her eyes as she looked at him, wondering what had happened in the course of two weeks to change his mind, and why he chose now to tell her. They'd already made plans, and everything.

"So, you thought you'd get in one more good fuck before you ditched me?" she asked, venom laced in her voice. She picked up the robe she kept by his bed and pulled it around her. "You're absolutely unbelievable, you know that?"

"It's not like that," Draco argued, looking into her eyes for the first time. "I couldn't leave without...I needed you one last time. I don't want to do this. I have obligations. You know that."

"Oh yes," Hermione snapped. "You're precious mother. The racist bitch who means far more to you than I ever did, obviously."

"Hey," Draco started, his voice irritated, but Hermione cut him off.

"No, you don't get to defend her to me. You chose her, and you are breaking my heart. I'll hate her if I want to!" Hermione cried, tears streaming down her face. "I can't believe I let you do this to me. I can't believe I let you in. I should have known."

"You always knew this was possible," Draco countered, but he knew it was the wrong thing to say when she looked so hurt. That hurt quickly turned to anger as she moved out of bed and whipped around to face him.

"I also thought you loved me. You told me you did. If you really loved me, you wouldn't cast me aside because some stupid Slytherins don't approve. My friends don't like you, but if you said the word, I'd tell them the truth about us in a minute. You never loved me. All you wanted was to fuck me and use my emotions against me. You used me tonight, and I'll never forgive you for that. I hope I never see you again, you fucking prick." She was shouting by the end of her rant, and she turned on her heel, stomping to her room as soon as she gathered her wits.

"Wait, please..." Draco called, moving out of bed to follow her. This time, when he tried the door, it was warded shut, but he could hear her crying on the other side. She wasn't his anymore. She never would be. The thought created a hole in his heart.

* * *

"Hey guys," Hermione said, meeting up with Ron, Harry, and Ginny after the graduation ceremony. She'd successfully avoided Draco all day, and planned to continued down that path until she was on the Hogwarts Express that night, headed for London. Then she'd never have to see his deceitful, lying face ever again.

"Finally free!" Ginny said, dancing around in front of them. Harry and Hermione laughed while Ron rolled his eyes.

"I was wondering if that room at Grimmauld Place was still open," Hermione said, looking at her friends hopefully.

"Of course," Harry said, "but I thought you wanted to get a flat of your own."

"Changed my mind," Hermione said, pasting on a fake smile. The thought of what really happened sent sharp pains in her chest. "I think it would be nice to be close to friends."

"I'm glad," Ron said with a bright smile. "Never liked the idea of you living alone. Not that you can't take care of yourself, mind," He amended. "But, it would be lonely."

"Yeah," Hermione agreed. "I have to pack up my parents' old house. That should take a few weeks. Then I'll move in," Hermione said. She didn't relish selling the house, but she promised her parents she'd do it. They'd decided to say in Australia and left the house to her to use until she graduated. Now it was time to pack everything up, ship it off to them, and sell the house. It was an amazing gift, but it was also a chore. Then again, maybe she needed something to take her mind off her current situation.

"I'll help," Ron offered. "The Auror program doesn't start for a few months anyway."

Hermione smiled. "Thanks, Ron."


	5. Trying to Move On

**Trying to Move On**

* * *

_December 1999_

"Hermione, can I talk to you?" Ron asked, tugging nervously at the front of his shirt. She had a feeling she knew what he wanted to talk about, and she guessed she'd put the talk off long enough.

The truth was, she knew Ron was in love with her. Maybe she'd known it since school, but she was too busy trying to have a doomed relationship with Malfoy to really care about anyone else's emotions or feelings especially where she was concerned.

On the one hand, Ron was a perfect gentleman to her. He'd helped her sell her parents house and move into Grimmauld Place with perfect ease. He'd held her as she cried over Draco (though he didn't know it was about _him_) more times than she'd cared to count, and never once demanded to know what was wrong. He was the kind of man she _should _love, and if it hadn't been for her stupid mistake seventh year, she probably would have.

On the other hand, she still thought about Draco every day. She tried to move on, but every night she thought about his fingers caressing her skin, his sweet and hot words whispered into her ear, and most of all, the betrayal of him walking away from her-for his mother of all people. It still ripped a hole inside her that she had no idea how to repair.

Pulling herself back to reality Hermione smiled at Ron and nodded. "Sure, Ron. What do you want to talk about?" It was now or never. Perhaps she needed this to move on. She couldn't spend her whole life pining over a man who clearly had no need for her anymore. And it was downright stupid to turn away from a man who wanted her the way Ron did, when she had no good reason to do so.

"Here," Ron smiled nervously, leading her to his room. "I'd rather not be overheard."

Hermione was concerned for a moment. Maybe it was something else. Harry and Ginny knew how Ron felt about her, she was sure. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Ron quickly assured her. "I...I'm just a little nervous if I'm being honest."

"You can tell me anything," Hermione said. She wasn't sure how she felt about what he was going to say, but she didn't want him to be terrified to say it. Was she really _that _intimidating.

"I really like you, Hermione," Ron finally said, taking her hand in his as they sat next to each other on the bed. "I think you know that. And sometimes, I get the feeling you...like me too."

"I do," Hermione said, hoping her own smiled reached her eyes. He really was a great man. He'd grown up so much. He was excelling in the Auror program and seemed to have finally found his niche.

His smile brightened at her words. "Christmas is coming up, and really, the only thing I can say that I want is you," Ron said, emboldened by her reaction to his first statement.

"Oh, Ron," Hermione said, her heart fluttering in her chest. It was the moment of truth. She could cling to her feelings for Draco, or try to move on with a man who truly cared about her. "And it won't ruin our friendship?" she asked. That was the most important thing to her.

"I swear, Hermione," Ron said, excited that she was considering his proposition. "Friends no matter what, I swear. But I think we could be great as more. I really, really like you."

Hermione smiled at him. "Yes," she said. "Let's try this." The decision was made, and she was okay with it.

Ron was absolutely over the moon at her response and quickly pulled her into his arms, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. It was their first. It was pleasant. That was the best she could say about it, but it was a start.

* * *

Draco threw the paper down on the dining room table. _Ronald Bloody Weasley of all people. _He wanted to puke and punch the wall all at the same time. It hadn't been more than six months that Hermione was in his arms every night, and now, she was dating that Weasel.

"What's wrong, Draco, dear?" Narcissa asked sweetly from her place across from him.

"Nothing," he grumbled, irritated at his mother for the moment. It was her fault, after all, that Hermione was dating that moronic bastard. If she just...Well, there was no use thinking of the what-ifs. Draco would rather think about the many different ways he'd dismember the Weasel when he got his hands on him.

The last six months had been miserable. And, instead of making things better by pushing all Hermione related things out of his life, Draco was making it worse. He devoured every scrap of information the press published about her. As the brains of the Golden Trio, she was front page news quite often so there was a lot of material to keep him occupied.

He knew she was excelling in the Healer program at St. Mungo's. She was living with Potter, Weasley, and Weaselette. She only offered interviews on charity issues, and not her life. She spent most of her time with Potter or Weasley. And, she hadn't dated anyone...until now.

"You ought not to scowl like that, dear. Your face will freeze that way," Narcissa said, sipping her tea.

"I've got to go," Draco said, putting the paper down and finishing his coffee in one gulp. "I need a date for the Christmas Ball at the Ministry though," he said, knowing his mother would find him an annoying little Pureblood in 10 seconds flat. Which, for his purposes, would be perfect. He didn't need to marry her, just needed her to be hot enough to piss off Granger.

* * *

The Ministry atrium was covered in twinkling lights, and it was absolutely beautiful. Draco's date was conventionally beautiful too, but he wasn't paying her any more attention than necessary. Her blond hair, big boobs, and long tan legs would be enough to 'prove' to Hermione that if she could move on, he could move on. That was her only purpose.

His real attention was in looking around the room for the object of his affection. He supposed she was arriving fashionably late as he hadn't seen her, or her red-headed escort, yet.

"Draco," the girl he had his arm around whined, "can't we sit?"

"In a minute," Draco snapped, still looking toward the entrance. Seconds later, his breath caught in his throat when he saw her. If possible, she looked even more beautiful than he remembered. Her skin was shimmering, probably from a beauty charm she'd utilized for the night. Her royal blue evening gown hugged her in all the right places, and the messy bun she had her in was sexy and enticing as loose curls precariously escaped. She was stunning, and he ached to touch her. As close as she was, she could have been miles away for how close he felt to her, though.

When Weasley joined her, his hands went around her waist and Draco felt the urge to Avada his ignorant ass into next week. Hermione was _his_. She loved _him. _There was no way she was over him anymore than he was over her. But, there she was, letting the Weasel put his hands all over her, and giggling like a moronic school girl at whatever stupid thing he was saying.

"We're sitting down," Draco said, pulling the girl on his arm with him. She just sighed and followed.

* * *

She felt his eyes on her. How could she not? He was practically staring her down. An immature part of her was very happy she'd taken up Ron on his offer to start dating. He looked particularly good tonight, and she just hoped Draco was as jealous as she was of that blond bimbo he'd decided to bring.

_How did he even get an invitation? Did being a successful businessman make all past transgressions go away?_ Narcissa was not in attendance. Maybe the forgiveness only went so far. She quickly pushed the thoughts aside as Ron asked her to dance. She smiled and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. She had no idea he'd be such a gentleman tonight. Perhaps he'd really, truly grown up. It was a stark contrast from their time at the Yule Ball, fourth year.

"You look beautiful tonight," Ron whispered in her ear.

"Thank you. You look very handsome yourself," Hermione smiled back.

"You know, I care about you so much, right?" Ron said, looking into her eyes. "I know it's only been a few weeks, but I feel like we've been together forever."

"Me too," Hermione lied with a smile.

They danced several dances before Hermione's eye caught on Draco and his date, pressed so closed together they could have been fucking, if their clothes weren't on. Her breath caught in her throat as he looked up at her, sneering in a way he used to do before they were friends.

_How could he possibly be upset with _her_?_ He was the one her broke her heart. Was everything a lie? Did he really hate her this whole time? She knew he'd used her, in the worst way possible, but part of her _had _to believe that he _did_ care for her. If so, why was he dry humping that trollop and glaring at her?

"Ron, I think I need some air," Hermione said, pushing back the tears she felt rising up in her.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to come?" Ron asked, concerned as he gently brushed his knuckles along her cheek.

"No," Hermione laughed, trying her best to keep her emotions at bay. "Go talk to Dean and Seamus. I just need a minute to catch my breath."

"Okay," Ron smiled, kissing her lightly on the lips before leading her off the dance floor. When he was headed toward his friends, Hermione quickly moved through the atrium and down the hall toward the employee exit. No one would go there. She only knew of it because of Ron's job as an Auror. Most people were exiting the hall at the main balconies for the view, so she'd at least be alone.

When Draco saw her leave, he quickly disengaged from his date without a word and followed. Once outside, he noticed Hermione shivering and looking up into the night sky. "You'd think the brightest witch of our age would learn to do a simple warming charm," he said, aiming his wand at her from behind and warming her up.

Hermione scowled at turned around. "I'd think coming out here would have been a clue that I want to be alone," she snapped.

"And I'd think, my following you, would be a clue that I wanted to talk to you," Draco countered, leaning against the railing next to her.

"I believe you have a brain dead date to molest," Hermione sighed, looking away from him again.

"Like you'd have anything to say about the brain capacity of _my_ date," Draco scoffed.

"You don't know anything about Ron, so just shut up about him," Hermione growled, feeling the need to protect her friend.

"I know that you can do far better than that, Granger," Draco said, his voice softening.

"You know what, Malfoy?" Hermione spat, whipping around to face him again, "It's really none of your business. You made it clear how much I mean to you when you chose obligation over me. Whom I date is none of your concern at this point. Besides, you seemed to have moved on quite well from me. You had no problem dry fucking your date on the dance floor." Hermione knew she shouldn't let him get to her. She knew she was giving him the reaction he was looking for, but she couldn't do this. She couldn't be this close to him after what he did to her and not lash out at him. It was like a knife to her heart.

"Hermione, come on," Draco said, his tone softening again. "I...I just...Damnit, Granger, this is hard for me."

"Hard for _you!" _Hermione shrieked, glad no one was around to hear them. "You left me," she pointed out, "after fucking me, I might add. Then you show up here and play this...jealousy card like you have any right to me. You made your choice. I wasn't it. Now, you have to live with it."

"If I could change things, I would," Draco said.

"But you can't. And Ron is sweet, and kind, and has no problem being seen in public with me," Hermione said. "Leave me alone, please. I can't do this."

"Hermione, wait," Draco called, reaching out to her. His hand caught her wrist and they both felt the tingles of excitement, but Hermione pulled out of his grasp.

"No," she said. "It's too late."

Draco swallowed hard, watching her go, and he hoped to Merlin it wasn't forever. He had no idea what he was going to do, but he knew he couldn't live without her at least in some capacity.

* * *

She had to get him out of her head. He was living up there, all the time, especially now, after their confrontation at the ball tonight. She knew it was wrong, and immoral, and all kinds of bad, but she couldn't help it. She needed something. She couldn't think of a better way to push Draco Malfoy to the recesses of her mind that try to put someone else in his place.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked, a coy smile playing on her lips as Ron walked her to her room after the ball.

He swallowed audibly and nodded, obviously not trusting his voice. She knew he thought she was prudish. He probably assumed it would be months of angst and teasing on her part before he'd get her into bed. Right now, she needed something, and if she was going to commit to Ron, she might as well get it from him.

She lead him inside, glad that she'd cleaned her room the day before. "Sit," she offered, removing her jewelry and placing it on the vanity.

"A...are you sure, Hermione," Ron asked. "I mean, I'd understand if you aren't ready. I don't want you to feel pressured or anything."

Hermione smiled warmly at him. "I'm sure, Ron. Like you said, we've practically been together forever. I trust you. And...it's not like I'm a virgin," she admitted. It would become obvious soon enough so there was no use hiding it.

"You're not," Ron asked, truly shocked.

"No," Hermione said, looking down at her feet. "I...I had sex with a Muggle before we went on the Horcrux search."

"Oh," Ron said, disappointment at the edge of his voice. She knew it was out of character for her, but she had been in a desperate place that summer.

"Ron, it wasn't anything personal." Hermione tried to explain moving closer to him and running her fingers through his soft hair. "I was afraid we were going to die. You and Harry weren't options at the time, you know that." Ron nodded. "I didn't want to die a virgin." She left out all the sex she'd had with Draco, but she assumed that would not go over well.

"It's okay, Hermione." Ron smiled. "I just...well, I'm a virgin. I guess I'm a little nervous."

Hermione smiled and pulled him up so that she could kiss him. "Can you help me out of this dress?" she breathed against his ear, feeling him shiver against her. She smiled to herself. Perhaps having the power might be a nice change of pace.

Slowly they stripped each other of their clothes until Hermione pulled Ron on top of her and let him settle between her legs. "Relax," she said, kissing him deeply. He was slightly shaking and she hoped he would calm down enough to make this work.

"You're so beautiful, and I just can't believe this is happening," Ron admitted.

"Please, make love to me," Hermione choked, partly because she needed him to fill her of the void she was feeling, and partly because she knew that sex with Ron would sever at least part of the connection between her and Draco. She hoped it would be enough to mend her heart as well.

He took a deep breath and slipped inside her, sighing with relief. Hermione felt the overwhelming urge to cry as he moved inside her, but held it at bay. She could do this. She _had_ to do this. Draco was no longer an option. Ron loved and cared for her. He was good for her, and he was good to her.

"Hermione, I'm gonna..." Ron warned before he let out a long moan, emptying himself inside her. She let out a sharp gasp, followed by a low moan, hoping he believed her lie and forced herself to tighten around him. That would take time, but this was a start.

"That was amazing," Ron breathed, rolling over and pulling her into his arms.

"Mmm," Hermione replied nodding into his chest.

"I love you, Hermione," Ron said. "I know it's soon, and you might not feel it yet, but I love you."

Hermione smiled through her tears and just held him tighter. Why couldn't it feel the same?


	6. Collide

**Collide**

* * *

_July 2000_

He couldn't take it any longer. She was in every part of his brain all the time. It was starting to affect his work. Just last month, he'd daydreamed about fucking Hermione on top of his desk during the monthly budget meeting. The investors were starting to notice his lack of attention.

It was their own damn fault. Their Pureblood mania kept him from just being with the witch that he wanted. Instead, he was relegated to dates with annoying, vapid Purebloods his mother set him up with, half of whom he couldn't even get hard for. The other half, he had to desperately cling to an image of Hermione to even finish with.

He had to do something. He'd watched her long enough now that he knew her schedule, and he had a plan. It might not have been the best thought out plan, but after seven months without seeing her, he was a little anxious. If he was right about her feelings, it didn't have to be a perfect plan anyway.

* * *

"Have a good day at work, love," Ron said, kissing Hermione on the cheek.

"Okay," Hermione smiled warmly back at him. "You too. Harry, keep him out of trouble," she laughed, as her friend joined them in the kitchen. Ginny often slept in, as Harry was the breadwinner for their coupling, and Hermione was always out the door before her Auror boyfriend and best friend.

"Will do," Harry chuckled.

"I'll call you if that case Kingsley has us on will go overnight," Ron said. "I hope it doesn't. I'll miss you."

Hermione smiled and kissed him again, but chuckled as Harry groaned. "Can you not make out with each other in front of me? She's like my sister."

"Oh, you mean like how you make out with _my_ sister in front of _me_," Ron countered.

"Okay, boys," Hermione said with a roll of the eyes, "I'm off. Be safe."

With that, she went to the Floo to head to work with a smile on her face. She adored her friends. She'd originally thought that moving in with them was going to be difficult, but after a few issues in the beginning, it was like clockwork. Perhaps some people were just meant to be together. She, Harry, and Ron seemed to be just such people. She couldn't imagine her life without them in it, in some capacity.

The problem was that neither of them evoked the same feelings in her that that blonde bastard did...used to...Hell, still did. Ron tried really hard, and she appreciated it. He treated her like a queen, but not in an annoying way. He was close without being suffocating. It was just what she needed from him.

Even the sex had gotten better. It took a few months, but eventually, he was able to make her come. It wasn't as intense or passionate as it had been with Draco, but it was comfortable, and safe, and she _was_ happy. She cringed as she realized the effort she had to put into reminding herself of that fact every day.

"Professor," Hermione greeted warmly as she entered her supervisor's office. "Which ward am I on today?"

"Hello, Miss Granger," Healer Smith smiled at her. "You are on Third Floor: Potion and Plant Poisoning, today."

"Thank you, sir." Hermione hurried off to meet with the rest of her peers. She was allowed to move around the hospital more than most because she had a little more latitude. Having worked with Madam Pomfrey in her last year at Hogwarts, she was already six months ahead of the rest of her class in the program when she joined. In just six more months, she'd be a full-fledged Healer. She couldn't wait.

* * *

He stood for hours in the cramped lift under a disillusionment spell, waiting. He knew it was crazy. He knew he looked like a stalker, and maybe he was, but he had to see her, touch her, talk to her...anything. And he had to get her to hear him out.

Finally, after twenty minutes of a jam-packed lift, it emptied completely and Draco breathed a sigh of relief, waiting for her to come. He hoped she didn't use the stairs today.

Forty more minutes passed before she entered the lift and he was grateful she was alone. This wouldn't work if she was accompanied by people. As the lift began to rise from this first floor, he used his wand to stop it.

"Buggering hell," Hermione sighed, in frustration. Draco just smirked to himself as he removed the charm that had rendered him invisible.

"Already late as it is..." Hermione muttered to herself as she looked at the Muggle watch she wore on her right wrist.

"Talking to yourself, Granger?" Draco drawled, working hard to keep from laughing out loud when she jumped nearly out of her skin.

Whipping around, she glared at him. "Malfoy, you better have a very good reason for hiding in the hospital lifts, and tampering with them," she said between gritted teeth.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Draco said, moving from his place, leaning against the wall of the lift, to stand in front of her. "I came here for you." His eyes were penetrating and looked into her soul. It was familiar, but it made her shiver under the intensity.

"Bugger off, Malfoy," Hermione sighed. "I don't know what you want, but I don't have time for this. Now, fix the elevator."

"No," Draco said, moving closer to her until he had her pushed up against the door of the lift while his body pressed into hers. Her breath caught as she felt the hard planes of his body against her softer ones. It was wrong, but it still felt so right. No matter how much time passed, she felt natural with him.

"What are you doing?" Hermione breathed, feeling him that close was bringing everything back to her her. But it also reminded her of something else...someone else. "I can't do this," she said trying to push him away, but he didn't budge. "I'm with someone."

Draco sneered at that. "Yes, I know," he said. "The Weasel."

Hermione just rolled her eyes at his childish name for Ron. "So, you see, I can't do this."

"You want it, Hermione," Draco said, his voice dropping to a husky murmur. "I can feel it. I always could."

Hermione moaned against him as he ground into her. She hated herself for it, but he could always evoke the emotions he wanted from her. "Please, Draco. I...I can't..."

"Shhhh," Draco said, brushing her hair behind her cheek. "I don't want to hurt you. I just want to be with you."

"I told you, I can't. You made your choice," Hermione said, getting a little more confidence in her voice.

"And I don't like it," Draco said, matter-of-factly. "Just let me remind you..." he drifted off, his eyes closing as he moved in closer. She didn't stop him, she didn't want to. His lips crashed into hers and she opened her mouth, allowing his tongue to slip inside.

He moaned as their lips made contact. "God, I want you..." he breathed against her as his hand reached up to tilt her head back and devour her mouth deeper. Hermione, for her part, could only moan in response as she gripped his shirt in her hands, unsure if she wanted to pull him closer or push him away.

Too soon it was over, and Draco pressed a business card in her hand. "Meet me here, tonight. Please. I need you. I know you need me too. Just...Please..." He looked less sure of himself than she remembered seeing him since he admitted he loved her for the first time.

"I don't think I can," Hermione choked out.

"Think about it," Draco said, gaining some control and straightening his clothes. He didn't even bother with the disillusionment charm as he pointed his wand at the front of the lift and waited for it to begin rising again.

Hermione exited on the third floor turned on, ashamed, and confused.

* * *

"I'm going out with Luna, want to come?" Ginny called as she skipped down the stairs.

"No, I'm okay," Hermione smiled, her mind on the business card burning a hole in her back pocket.

"Okay, but don't worry about Ron. He and Harry have each other, and they will be back tomorrow morning," Ginny said.

"I won't," Hermione said. "I think I'm just going to stay in and read."

"Okay, but do try to have _some_ fun with the boys away," Ginny grinned on her way out.

Hermione sighed to herself. The temptation was growing. It was almost like some sort of force was _trying_ to get her to cheat on Ron. She didn't want to. He deserved better. He was good to her, and the truth was, he shouldn't have a girl he couldn't trust. But that kiss...it brought back everything. Her knees were weak and her pulse was still racing from it. She spent her entire shift with wet knickers, and she was reaching her breaking point.

She pulled the card out of her back pocket and looked at it again. It was a Muggle hotel room number. She bit her lip. No, she definitely should not go. But...maybe she should.

Oh, who the hell was she kidding, she knew she shouldn't, but Merlin help her, it was all she could do to keep from running out to door to that stupid Muggle hotel.

* * *

Draco lounged on the bed, hoping he was not wrong about his instincts. She still loved him. He felt it. Was it enough though? Would the perfect Hermione Granger cheat on her precious Weasel? Would she meet with him in a random hotel room without any assurance that he wanted to keep her?

He did want to keep her. If it were up to him, he'd put a ring on her finger tonight and make her his tomorrow morning. But, as he was made aware every day, he couldn't. Not if he wanted to protect his mother from her own skewed embarrassment, save his family business, and keep his life from spinning out of control. Purebloods just didn't marry Muggle-borns. Society would tip on its axis, and his mother would likely have a stroke.

He looked at the clock at the side of the bed. She'd been off work for at least three hours. He hoped to Merlin he wasn't stood up. He didn't think he could take anymore unresolved sexual tension without bursting.

His thoughts were interrupted by a tentative knock. His heart leapt in his chest as he hopped off the bed and made his way to the door. If it was the bloody maid he was going to hex her. He took a deep breath before pulling the door open.

Before him stood a very nervous Hermione Granger. She pushed her way into the room, swinging the door closed behind her. "This doesn't mean anything," she said, her voice laced with pent up tension.

Before Draco even had time to react, his arms were full of Hermione as she jumped into them. "This doesn't mean anything," she repeated, between hot kisses. "Just fucking. No feelings."

Draco couldn't agree to that, but he wasn't about to stop. He just continued to kiss her as she pulled at his clothes until both of them were naked, their clothes in tatters on the floor. Hermione pushed Draco down on the bed and straddled his hips. She needed the control. He knew that. At this point, he just needed to be buried inside her. He didn't care how they got that way.

Hermione hissed in satisfaction as she slid down his cock and buried him within her to the hilt. "Fuck, Hermione!" he groaned as he gripped her hips tightly in his hands. He missed this. He needed this. How could he live without this?

"I hate you," Hermione moaned, pressing her hands into his chest as she rode him harder and harder. He could see in her eyes that she was lying, but her punishing sex was enough to tell him he was not out of her doghouse. He didn't really expect he would be for a long time.

"I love you," he responded, meeting her thrusts as they slammed into each other over and over, getting closer and closer to the end of their tether.

"Shut the fuck up," she moaned, her hands digging into his chest as she bucked faster into him. She was going to come any minute. She didn't even care if he followed. Her brain was fuzzy and her body was shaking.

"That's it, baby. Come on me," Draco commanded, and as much as she hated it, his words, hot and erotic, pushed her over the edge.

"Oh...Ohhhhhh," she practically screamed as she came harder than she had, possibly in her whole life.

As she clamped down around him, he saw stars and came too, emptying himself inside her. "Hermione..." he breathed, his breath coming out in choking sobs as his orgasm washed over him.

Hermione could hold herself up no longer and collapsed on his chest, shaking with sobs of guilt. "Hermione, what's wrong?" Draco asked, rubbing her head in his hands.

"I never should have come here," she cried, her breath hitching from her sobs.

This was definitely _not_ the reaction he'd wanted nor expected. Guilt? Sure. Weeping? Surely not. "Don't say that," he said, his voice soft and soothing as he ran his hands up and down her back, trying to calm her. "I know you love me."

"Loved you," she corrected. Draco lifted her roughly by the shoulders forcing her to look at him.

"You don't mean that," he said, his gaze intense. "You can be pissed at me. You have every right, but don't you dare lie about that."

"I wish I _didn't_ love you," Hermione admitted defeated as she lay against his chest. "I just cheated on the one man who treated me with respect with a guy would couldn't even stand to be seen in public with me. I'm worthless."

"No," Draco said, his heart pumping faster as he considered how he'd made her feel. He was too selfish to stop, though. "Hermione...just do what you feel."

"I did what I felt like two years ago. Now my heart is broken," Hermione mumbled. She finally lifted her head to look at him. "You're never going to choose me, are you?"

"I...I can't," Draco said, clinging to her in hopes that it would keep her from running from the room. She seemed resigned to his answer though and just slumped in his arms and nodded.

"And I can't do this." Hermione said. "It's not who I am. I love you, fine. But you don't love me. Not enough. I'll give you tonight, but then it's done. I'm with Ron."

Draco swallowed back the retort he had on the tip of his tongue about Ronald Weasley and just nodded. One night wouldn't be enough, but it was better than nothing.

"Fine, but I want all of you, Hermione. No holding back," Draco said seriously. Hermione just leaned forward and kissed him hard and deep, feeling his cock harden within her.

* * *

_September 2000_

"Hermione," Ron said nervously from his position on one knee in front of her. Her breath caught and she knew what was coming. "I know we haven't even been together for a year, but I love you. I always have, and I know I always will. Please, will you be my wife?"

Hermione didn't need to think. Ron was good to her. He loved her. He respected her. And most of all, he was trustworthy. He'd never hurt her, that much she knew. Draco's face flashed before her eyes for a split second, but she pushed him out of the way. He got his one night. As much as she wanted more, he could never give her that. It was no use longing for what couldn't be.

"Yes," She said, smiling at him. It wasn't how she imagined feeling when she accepted a man's proposal, but it did feel good. It was safe. She needed that. She'd spend the rest of her life making up for her one night of infidelity. She'd be the best wife she could be to Ron Weasley.


	7. Wedding Bells

**Wedding Bells**

* * *

_September 2000_

"Did you hear the news?" Narcissa asked Draco over breakfast, a smirk on her lips. Someone must have made a huge faux pas for her to be this condescendingly excited. That or someone was knocked-up.

"What news are you referring to?" Draco asked over his coffee. He was pouring over financial plans for the upcoming months.

"Little Miss Mudblood is marrying one of the Weasleys," she said, snorting delicately to herself. She was no fan of Hermione's. He'd caught her and her friends making snide comments about his lover frequently as they discussed the gossip columns. He didn't know what her distaste for the girl hinged on, but it was clear and apparent.

Draco's blood ran cold when he heard the news, but he worked to steel his features. "Since when do you care what Granger does?" he asked, proud of himself for keeping his voice steady. Part of him wanted to rip that paper out of her hands and devour every word of the article, hoping he could prove it all a sick joke. The other part of him didn't want the truth staring him back in the face. He'd become quite used to the idea that he'd never marry. His heart belonged to another. It wouldn't be fair. How could Hermione do this? It wasn't right.

"I don't," Narcissa said with a shrug. "Just find it interesting is all. They are about as interesting as mud together, but the press does love the Golden Couple. I shudder to think with ghastly Muggle ensemble she'll probably wear to the wedding."

"Well, I have to go to work. Don't spend too much time in the gossip pages. There are actually important things going on," Draco snapped, moving from the table as soon as quickly as possible.

By the time Draco walked into the office that morning, he'd worked up quite a wrath. His assistant shook in her heels as he snapped at her for the quarterly reports.

* * *

_November 2000_

"Hermione, are you even listening to me?" Ginny asked, sighing in frustration.

"Sorry," Hermione said, trying to turn her attention back to her friend who was ranting about wedding plans again. "I'm just tired. Long hours, you know. I'm at the end of my training, so I'm pulling double shifts."

In actuality, her desire and guilt were eating away at her. No matter what she did, she couldn't get Draco out of her head. This wedding was supposed to take her mind off of him, but it only made things worse. There was a time she dreamed that she'd be planning a wedding with _him_. However, that only led to guilt over not being as excited about marrying Ron as she should have been. It was a vicious cycle that was eating away at her every day.

"Well, this is your _wedding_," Ginny said in an exaggerated tone. "And you were the one who wanted to speed this up. You're the one who begged to make the wedding for New Year's Eve. That means we have like a million things to do," Ginny said, gesticulating wildly.

"I know," Hermione said, summoning all her attention together to dedicate it to the china pattern Ginny was showing her. "Okay, let's do this."

* * *

"Yes, baby," Ron grunted, as he thrust into her faster and faster. She clung to him, willing the thoughts of Draco out of her head. She could do this.

"Ron..." she moaned as he hit the right spot inside her pulling her back into the present. _Thank Merlin for that_.

"I love you," Ron panted, hiking her thigh higher around his hip to penetrate her deeper and it was all she needed to spill over the edge.

He followed behind her and pulled her into his arms as he worked to catch her breath. "Every time is like the first time," he mused, running his fingers through her hair. Hermione just nodded into his chest.

"Hermione, are you happy?" Ron asked.

"Of course, Ron," Hermione said, looking up at him. "Why would you ask something like that?"

Ron just smiled sheepishly down at her. "I just want to make sure. Sometimes...sometimes it seems like...I don't know...like you're not as happy as you used to be." Ron rolled his eyes and sighed. "I'm just being stupid."

"No," Hermione said, smiling warmly up at him. "I am happy. And I want to marry you, and I'm so excited about being a healer. I'm just overwhelmed right now. Come January, I'll be back to normal," she promised.

"I just want to make you happy," Ron said. "I know I can be a right pain in the arse, but you know that, right?"

"Yes, Ron. You love me more than anyone has ever loved me. That much I know," Hermione smiled, snuggling into her fiancé once more.

* * *

_December 2000_

Hermione sighed to herself as she saw him coming toward her. Of course he would show up a week before her wedding to send her brain into some kind of chaos all over again. She'd stayed late at work, finishing her last duties before she was accepted as a Healer the day before the wedding. It would give her enough time off for their honeymoon before she officially started work in the maternity ward.

"Leave now," Hermione said, turning away from him as he stalked toward her down the empty hall. All the patients were down for the night and the ward was eerily silent but for the sound of their footsteps.

"No," Draco growled, pulling her by the arm into an on-call room nearby. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" he asked, his eyes staring her down.

"I'm trying to finish up my charts so that I can go home...to my fiancé," she bit out.

"You are _not_ marrying him," Draco spat, gripping her shoulders tighter until she winced.

"I don't see how you are going to stop me," Hermione drawled, not allowing his closeness or jealousy to affect her...at least not outwardly. Inside her heart was racing and her skin was tingling.

"Stop it, Hermione. Just stop and think," Draco pleaded, shaking her.

"I thought your great advice was to 'not think'," Hermione snapped back.

"You don't love him," Draco countered.

"I do, love him," Hermione answered back truthfully.

"Not like you love me," Draco returned, his voice softening along with his grip. He moved in, kissing her passionately on the lips. It took her a moment to push him off, still loving the feel of his lips on hers, but she mustered up the strength to do so.

"He doesn't make me cry, Draco. He doesn't break my heart. I want a family, and I want a husband who loves me. Are you going to give me those things?" she asked, knowing the answer already.

"I can't," he said, his voice pleading.

"Then you have no right to tell me what to do," Hermione said, leaning against the wall in defeat.

"If you do this, you are lying to yourself," Draco tried.

"You lie to yourself everyday when you listen to your mother talk about the superiority of Pureblood society. You lie to yourself when you laugh at your business partner's jokes about filthy Mudbloods without correcting them. You lie to yourself when you listen to Blaise, Pansy, or Theo make fun of me at their little parties," Hermione said, her eyes flashing. "Because you love me. You loved me then, and you love me still. And yet, here we are, arguing with each other in the middle of the night at the hospital because you choose to live up to a ridiculous, archaic standard that your racist, sexist society clings to."

Hermione was panting by the end of her rant, her pupils dilated and her chest heaving, and as right as everything she said was, he couldn't help himself. He pushed her roughly against the wall, picking her up with both arms and rocking into her with force he didn't know he had.

"I don't know why I keep doing this," Hermione moaned to herself, attacking his mouth with gusto as she pulled at his tie, trying to free him from his clothes.

"Because you need it as much as I do, Granger," Draco grunted, pulling the ties of her trousers loose as he began to push them down her legs. She jumped off him long enough to rid her of her pants and knickers, and within moments her legs were wrapped around his narrow hips again, and he was sheathing himself inside her.

"Fuck," Hermione moaned throwing her head back. "I'm coming already," she warned, letting herself shake around him. He just trust harder and harder, letting her ride the wave of her orgasm as he built her up into another one.

"You're mine, Granger," Draco growled. "Always."

* * *

Hermione's hands were shaking as she pinned her hair back with a magical clasp that Mrs. Weasley had lent her. Taking a deep breath, she allowed Ginny to lace up the back of her dress as she prepared herself for the biggest day of her life.

She'd done it again, and Merlin help her, but she liked it. Draco wasn't going to let her go. That much was clear, but her resolve to resist him was weak. It took him all of five minutes to get into her knickers, and that was even after she gave him a severe tongue-lashing.

She couldn't think about that now. Now, she was about to marry Ron Weasley, and the last thing she needed on her mind was Draco Malfoy.

"You look stunning, Hermione," Ginny smiled.

"You'll be next," Hermione promised, smiling back. She knew all this wedding talk was getting Harry to think about tying the knot as well. Ginny just grinned and blushed.

"Girls, are you ready?" Arthur called from outside the door.

"Come in," Hermione called. She'd already decided to have Mr. Weasley walk her down the aisle. Her parents would not be able to make it to the wedding because they still hadn't forgiven her for tampering with their memories, and he was the closest she had to a father figure outside her own father. Since the wedding was a small affair at the burrow, it was perfect.

Of course, she couldn't keep the press out totally, but she limited it to Rita Skeeter. Considering she had enough dirt on Rita to keep her in line, Hermione thought this was the easiest way to control how the wedding was reported.

She took the man's arm and allowed him to lead her outside where the back yard was set up in a Winter Wonderland. Warming charms were cast all around so she barely noticed the chill on her bared shoulders. Her heart beat faster as she moved toward where Ron was standing with the ministry official who was to perform the ceremony.

He looked amazing. His usually wild hair was well tamed, but not so manicured it looked unlike him. His dress robes were immaculate and fit him perfectly. His brilliant smile caused her to smile in return, and she had to admit, so far, the wedding was going perfectly.

She saw Mrs. Weasley weeping in the front row, and the faces of all her friends, save the one she couldn't have, and smiled to herself. This would be an okay life. She had everyone she _needed_, didn't she? They loved her and she'd be protected and happy. Yes, she'd made the right decision.

When she reached Ron, he took her hands in his and kissed her lightly on the cheek before they both turned to the man who would unite them as husband and wife. Choosing to go with traditional vows, they were soon pronounced man and wife, and when Ron kissed her, she felt a spark. She smiled into it. Maybe things would all be okay with him.

The night was perfect, and after hours of dancing and eating, Ron apparated them to their honeymoon destination where he proceeded to make love to her all night. It wasn't until she woke up, just past dawn, and longed to be next to someone else that she realized she might have made the biggest mistake of her entire life.


	8. Need to Feel You

**Need to Feel You**

* * *

_April 2001_

She was hiding in her work. She knew it, and she couldn't believe that Ron couldn't see it. Then again, he always did have a blind spot when it came to her. Of course, he was busy with the Auror program himself. They were currently working to round up Death Eaters that had fled to other countries. That sent him away quite often, and Hermione couldn't say her heart was broken because of it. The alone times were nice and allowed her to retreat into herself in a way she couldn't when she was with Ron.

It wasn't that she didn't love him. She did. And every time he kissed her, hugged her, made her coffee in the morning, she was more endeared to him. But that really only made everything worse. Her love for Ron only pointed out, in a blatant way, that what she felt for Draco had been, and still was, so much more.

Which brought her back to the hiding. She didn't actually _have_ to work 70 hour weeks, but it was much easier than going back to the new home she and Ron had bought after the wedding and trying to be...happy, or at least seem that way.

_Fuck it._ It had been too long. Her resolve was wavering. As sick to her stomach as the thought made her, she needed to feel him, on her, in her, around her. She wondered if he still needed her too.

* * *

_Draco,_

_I don't know what to say. Imagine that, Hermione Granger without a clue. I just wanted to know if you wanted to meet. I'm free this weekend. Reply to St. Mungo's, please._

_Hermione_

Draco had to read the note three times before he believed it said what he thought it said. It was quite abrupt, but Draco knew her well enough to read between the lines. She needed him, just as he needed her. He pulled his quill out and penned his response immediately.

If she was free this weekend, he'd make sure he filled it. And he had lots of plans for how to do so.

* * *

"Touch me, I need to feel you," Hermione moaned as Draco attacked her neck with his lips.

"You're going to feel me, Granger. Don't worry," Draco growled against her skin moving his hands up to cup her breasts under her shirt. She hadn't even bothered with a bra, and he was eternally grateful for that as his fingertips ghosted across her hardening nipples.

"Merlin help me, but I need this," Hermione gushed, tugging his head back up to hers, attacking his lips with hers.

"Oh, Hermione," Draco moaned as she bucked against his aching cock, still trapped in his trousers.

"Take it off. I need you. Please, Draco. Please don't stop." Hermione was practically begging, and she wasn't sure if she was begging him not to stop touching her or not to leave her again. She was near hysterics, and she knew in that moment that she'd likely never get over Draco, or let him go, for that matter. No matter how hard she tried.

"I'll never stop, love," Draco breathed, maneuvering out of his pants as Hermione rid herself of her own clothes. Once they were naked, Draco settled between her legs again. Looking into her eyes, he was caught by unbridled intensity and lust that nearly knocked him over.

In one, swift motion he buried himself inside her and groaned at the feeling of her tight walls around him and the sound of her eager moans in his ears.

"Yes," Hermione hissed. "Fill me, Draco. I need it," she groaned. She was rarely this vocal in bed, unless he'd worked her up, but he barely had to touch her tonight to get her moaning and groaning against him.

"Oh, fuck, Hermione," Draco groaned, picking up the pace and slamming into her harder as he kissed her chest and neck, feeling the skin of her sides with his masculine hands. He could feel the heat between them and knew something more than sex was happening. This was bigger than a hook up between two ex-lovers. It was a tangible love and passion that the two shared and would likely _always_ share.

"I need it. I'll always need it," Hermione muttered, feeling her body tingling as he worked her up to her first orgasm of the night.

"I'll always be here," Draco promised. It wasn't what she wanted to hear, but it was true, and he was just glad she wasn't hiding anymore. She arched her back against him, pulling him in deeper and he felt his balls tighten.

"I'm close," Hermione warned, her walls starting to tighten around his aching cock. "Come inside me. I need to feel you," she groaned, letting her fingernails scratch down his biceps as she spilled over the edge crying out his name.

Hearing her beg him to come inside her was enough to set off shocking white lights behind his eyes as he came hard into her, emptying himself inside her.

Rolling to the side, he pulled her into him and tried to catch his breath. "Merlin, Hermione, that was amazing." It had possibly been the greatest sex they'd ever had.

The wetness of her tears as she sobbed into his chest pulled him from his orgasmic euphoria. _Not this again_, he begged whatever higher power would listen. "What's the matter?"

"I'm a horrible person and a horrible wife," Hermione cried, wrapping her arms around him as she continued to cry into his chest. "He loves me. He loves me so much and here I am, fucking a guy who is ashamed of me."

"Hermione," Draco said, his voice harsh and serious. "I am _not_ ashamed of you. And you are not a horrible person," he affirmed. "A horrible wife, maybe," he said with a slight smirk, but when that didn't cheer her up, he continued. "I love you. You love me. It's natural for us to be together. Look at all the babies you save on a daily basis in the maternity ward. Do you think a horrible person would do that?"

"But you agree, I'm a horrible wife. Loving you is not enough to make up for that," Hermione said, trying to pull away but Draco pulled her back.

"I think that you shouldn't have married him," Draco said, not even wanting to mention Weasley's name. "So, yes, you are a bad wife. You are a cheater. I'm not going to lie to you about it. But you know, as well as I, that marrying him was a mistake."

"It wasn't," Hermione said, stubbornly, but she'd already come to that conclusion months ago. "I love him."

Draco scowled. "If you love him so much, then why are you here with me? Why are you begging me to fuck you? Why do you say you need to feel _me_?" he asked, giving her a hard glare.

"Because I do love you. Merlin, help me, but I do. I always will for some stupid reason. I needed to feel you as much as I needed to breathe. And now I just feel like a slut, and a whore, and a cheating wife," Hermione explained.

"Hermione," Draco said, brushing the hair out of her face as he lifted her head to look at him. "A cheater, you may be. But you are not a slut, or a whore, and I need you as much as you need me." He leaned down, kissed her, and was delighted when she allowed it.

"Just think of this as much needed release. You know you can't stay away. I can't either. Just give in," he coaxed.

"Okay," Hermione finally said. "But I'm not doing this again."

"Whatever you say," Draco smirked. He already knew they were forming a pattern.

* * *

_July 2001_

Hermione's knuckles were white as she gripped the edge of the bed. Draco had her bent over and was fucking her harshly from behind. "Come on, Malfoy," she goaded. "Fuck me."

"Oh, I'll fuck you, Granger," he promised, pistoning his hips faster and faster into her willing body.

"It's Weasley," she taunted, moaning as he hit the spot insider her that made her insides go mushy.

Draco thrust back into her, gripping her hips harder until he knew they would bruise. "You will always be Granger," he grunted. "And you are mine."

Hermione could only moan louder as he fucked her just as she wanted him to - hard and punishing as she tumbled over the edge.

When they collapsed on the bed, Draco turned to her and brought up the one subject they'd avoided. "Why did you do it?" Draco asked. "Why did you marry him?"

"Because he loves me," Hermione said simply.

"Not good enough," Draco said. "I love you, too."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "But you didn't want to marry me, remember?"

"So, he's just a rebound," Draco countered.

Hermione shifted uncomfortably. "No," she finally said.

"That's convincing." Draco said, rolling his eyes.

"It's not like that," Hermione said, fire flashing in her eyes. "I do love him. I just don't love him like I love you. But you know _that_ wouldn't work. Why are you making me feel guilty about this, anyway? Do you want me to leave?"

"No," Draco said. "I just hate that he gets to have you."

"I guess you should have thought about that before you made your choice," Hermione said, unsympathetically. "Now are we going to talk about our feelings, or are you going to let me ride you?"

Draco's cock jumped and he tackled her to the bed. "You're a dirty little Gryffindor, aren't you?"

* * *

"Hey," Hermione smiled at her husband when he walked in the door. He smiled brightly back at her and leaned down to kissed her on the cheek where she was reading on the couch.

"I'm glad to be home," He said.

"How was the mission?" Hermione asked.

"We missed him," Ron said disappointedly. "But we got a trace on him. We'll get him next time."

"Well, I'm just glad you're home safe," Hermione said truthfully.

"I really did miss you, you know," Ron said, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. Hermione giggled at this. She was still sore from her weekend with Draco, but her husband deserved this, and she knew she owed it to him.

"Take me to bed, sir," she smiled, offering him her hand.


	9. Gnawing Feeling

**Gnawing Feeling**

* * *

_May 2003_

It had been going on, repeatedly and fairly regularly, for years now. Every time Hermione met with Draco, she swore it was the last time, and then she'd find herself in his arms again a few months later. It was a sickness - one she was beginning to truly hate herself for.

She knew how it would look to an outsider. She was cheating on her husband and throwing herself a pity party about it. It was incredibly selfish of her, but her feelings couldn't be helped. This was all her fault, she knew. As many times as she tried to blame this situation on Draco, the truth was, she didn't _have_ to seek him out. She could ignore his summons and be the best wife she could be, if she really wanted to.

Ron didn't deserve what she was doing to him. She didn't deserve him at all. He was ten times the man Draco was, on paper. In her heart, though, he'd never add up, and she hated herself for that.

She rolled over to face her husband who was sleeping quietly next to her as the thoughts raced through her head. They'd had _the conversation_ tonight. Harry and Ginny announced they were expecting their first child, and Ron broached the topic with her for the first time. At first, she wanted to snap back at him that, just because Harry and his sister were having a baby, didn't mean they had to.

But he was so sweet and gentle about it. She knew he wasn't trying to keep up with his best friend or sister. He really wanted to start a family with her. Hermione wanted children as well. She had hit her stride as a Healer and she knew in about a year's time, it would be okay for her to take time off to have a baby. The problem was, the baby she envisioned had a head full of curly blonde hair and his father's blue/grey eyes.

But that couldn't be. Even if Draco loved her, as she believed he did-the tenderness he showed her was tangible when they were alone-they would never be able to have a family. Hell, he couldn't even tell his closest friends they were fucking each other. And in the end, that's all they were doing, wasn't it? Love was fine, but did they do anything together that didn't involve being naked? No.

She wanted kids. But she knew she wasn't ready yet. Part of her wasn't ready for the prospect of being a mother in nine months time. A bigger part wasn't ready to say goodbye to Draco for good, as she knew she would have to if she committed to starting a family. The last thing she'd need is a question about the paternity of her children. Moreover, a mother couldn't slag around with her ex-boyfriends. She owed her children more than that.

Sighing, she rolled over and tried to get at least a couple hours of sleep before she had to get up for her shift in the morning.

* * *

"We are going to have to end this some time," Hermione said, pulling her hair into a ponytail after her romp with Draco a week later.

"Why?" Draco asked, not bothering to cover his nakedness as he lay in the bed staring up at her.

Hermione sighed in frustration. "Because it's wrong," she said, stating the obvious. "And because I want to make my marriage work. Meeting with you is not helping."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Seems your marriage is working just fine. The Weasel is none the wiser, and as much as I read about the two of you in the _Daily Prophet_, it looks like your marriage is going more than well," Draco pouted.

"You cannot be jealous," Hermione scoffed. "Look, I just don't want to do this anymore."

"Liar," Draco challenged.

"Goddamnit, Draco," Hermione shouted. "Of course I want to do this. I want to be with you. I want to marry you. I want to wake up next to you! But you don't want those things. So, let me go," Hermione was almost pleading.

"No," Draco said, pulling her down to him. "I'm never letting you go, Hermione. Get used to that."

Hermione was caught between indignation and flattery as he attacked her mouth and pushed the shirt she'd just put on off her shoulders.

* * *

Draco was a selfish man, he knew. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Hermione was his, regardless of her current last name. Though she was his, he knew he wasn't being fair to her. The feeling in the pit of his stomach about that fact was unusual for him, but he thought it was guilt.

She just couldn't understand the position he was in. It was hard enough work keeping his mother from pushing him down the aisle with one of her vapid friend's vapid daughters. She was getting antsy for grandchildren, and he'd already come to terms with the fact that children might never be an option for him. He could only picture marriage and children with Hermione, and if he couldn't have _her_ he didn't want anyone. The horrible feeling he felt when Hermione married Weasley was so painful, he never wanted to put Hermione through that, anyway.

Then there was the company. Mudblood jokes were the norm around the office and as much as they made him cringe, he had no choice but to let them go. The investors made Voldemort look like a Muggle lover, and he needed their money or the business would surely go bankrupt.

His friends were another matter. He'd come to terms with the fact that he could live without _them._ If it were just a matter of Pansy's jealousy of the Golden Trio, or Blaise's distaste for anything not Pureblood, he'd just tell them to fuck off. Hermione meant more to him than them.

His mother and his business, though...it wasn't as if she didn't mean as much to him. Hermione meant the world to him, but his mother was his only family. She gave him life and he couldn't turn his back on her. The company was his livelihood as well as hers. He couldn't let it go. There were obligations he had to keep, and he just wished Hermione could understand that. But she came from a world where people did what they thought was right, regardless of familial or societal obligation. To her, it meant he didn't love her enough. He wished he could show her how much it killed him to leave her after their secret meetings.

Instead, he lived with the guilt, knowing he was ruining her marriage, and feeling guilty because he didn't care. He needed her like he needed the air, and he'd have her as long as he could keep her.

* * *

_November 2004_

"I know you wanted to wait, and I understand," Ron said nervously, holding a sleeping James Potter in his arms. Harry and Ginny had gone out for the evening and left Hermione and Ron to watch him for the night. Hermione had to admit, she loved having the baby in the house. He was precious and adorable, and made her biological clock tick.

"Is this about having a baby?" Hermione asked, taking James from her husband and smiling down at the baby.

"I don't want to rush you, and we don't have to do it right now," Ron assured her. "I just thought we should talk about it again."

"I've been thinking about it," Hermione said, rocking the baby back and forth.

"Really?" Ron asked, pleasantly surprised.

"Of course." Hermione grinned. "I am a woman. I'm nearly twenty-five. I've been settled in my career. I want children. It's natural that I'd think about it," she explained. "I want to start a family."

"Really?" Ron said again, his face lighting up.

"Not right this minute," Hermione amended. "But soon. I think we can definitely think seriously about it." The truth was, she'd been giving it a lot of thought. Draco could not give her what she needed. As much as she loved him, sometimes, love wasn't enough.

That night, when she laid James in the crib, she couldn't help but smile at the thought of having one of her own. Even if it wasn't Draco's, she and Ron would have beautiful, intelligent, and loved children. If that meant she had to stop being selfish, that's what it would have to mean.

* * *

_"Granger, what's the rush?" Draco drawled, looking at her from the side._

_"We shouldn't have done this. I've...I've got to go." Hermione said, looking around for her shirt. _She hadn't meant to let it turn into sex again. She drew him to the hotel for a reason.

_Draco sighed and rolled his eyes, turning to face her, and propping up on one arm. "Right, of course," he said. "And, Merlin knows, you'll never do it again." The laughter in his voice irritated her, but the truth behind his words stung more. _He was right, after all. She usually gave into temptation at first chance.

_"I won't," Hermione said, defiantly looking back at him with a cutting glare. _She meant it this time. This had to end.

_Draco smirked then. "Love, you and I both know that's not true. We've been doing this for, what, five years now?" he said. "It's always the same. We fight and fuck like there's no tomorrow, then you dart from the room swearing it's the last time. But it never is, and you know it," Draco said, his own gaze growing hard as he finished. "Why even fight it anymore?"_

_"This isn't right," Hermione said, struggling to keep herself from crying. She pulled her jeans up her legs, but before she could bother with the buttons, Draco reached out and pulled her back down next to him on the bed._

_"You're not talking to your pathetic husband, Granger," Draco said, his voice low and threatening. "I don't buy that 'woe is me, what am I doing' act you've perfected," he sneered._

_"What do you want from me?" Hermione finally asked, looking up at him and meeting his harsh glare. "I'm married. We want to have a baby. I...I can't do this anymore."_

_Draco held her tightly by the arm, leveling his gaze at her. "A baby?" he asked, his voice awed and slightly concerned. _It seemed that finally got his attention. He rarely listened to her protests, but the baby stopped him in his tracks.

_"Yes," Hermione said, not even bothering to fight from his gasp. Part of her didn't want to anyway. That was why she always ended up in this mess. "You know I want kids."_

_"Not his. You don't want that oaf's stupid brats," Draco bit out. Hermione scowled at him in return._

_"That's my husband you are talking about!" Hermione shouted indignantly, though it was a little difficult as she was currently leaning toward him on the bed with no shirt on. _She felt the odd need to protect her husband after all this time. He was too good for her, and Draco had no right treating him that way.

_"Yes," Draco sneered, sitting up to get close to her face. "I'm well aware that he's your husband, but I don't think you were giving it that much thought when you were riding me and screaming my name just moments ago." _She internally winced at his words. He was right after all.

_"You're a pig," Hermione scoffed, moving away from him, but not off the bed. _She was a pig too, wasn't she? She'd been just as guilty in this whole thing, if not more so, as Draco.

_"You don't want his kids, so why the hell are you having them?" Draco asked, his tone reverting to the bored quality it usually held, but Hermione knew him well enough to know he we masking rage over the thought of her leaving him for good. As much as he hurt her, she wasn't dumb enough to believe she meant nothing to him._

_"I want kids," Hermione clarified again. _At this point, she was completely comfortable having Ron's children.

_"But not his." Draco countered._

_"What do you want from me?" Hermione cried in frustration, moving from the bed and searching for her shirt. Anything to remove herself from those piercing blue eyes._

_"I want to know why you are binding yourself to him this way. You know you don't love him. You know you..." Draco said, but Hermione cut him off._

_"Don't," she said, whipping around. "You don't get to say it, not after what you did." _She couldn't take talk of love right now. He'd broken her heart. He'd chosen family over love long ago and he had no right to guilt her about it when the whole thing was his fault.

_Draco's features softened slightly and he sighed. "I'm just saying that a baby is a large commitment. More of a commitment than that ridiculous wedding you agreed to."_

_"Right, and that's why this is over," Hermione said her voice holding more conviction than she actually felt._

_"Don't do it, Hermione," Draco said, his eyes and tone serious. _Finally, he was taking her seriously.

_"Why not?" Hermione snapped, pulling her shirt over her head. "You'll miss your fuck buddy? Think you might actually have to put the effort into getting another stupid girl to fall for your games?" Hermione scoffed. "Not that I have any delusions that I'm the only one who warms your bed."_

_Draco sighed in frustration. "We've been over this a million times."_

_"Yes, and we needn't rehash it," Hermione said, turning around to face him again. "This was supposed to end years ago. I should have put an end to it then." _Nothing was more true than that statement.

_Draco wasn't letting her go without a fight, though. He pulled the thin sheet around his waist, tucking it in at the side. "Don't do this," he said again, his voice pleading. She'd heard this tone before, but she knew she couldn't give in._

_"Goodbye, Draco," Hermione said, trying so hard to fight his presence as his scent and the scent of them together enveloped her. "I won't be coming back."_

_"Is this some kind of punishment," Draco asked. "Because I couldn't do what you needed me to?" _Her heart broke at the tone in his voice, but she had to be strong. She owed Ron and her future children that much.

_"No," Hermione said. "I've given up that dream a long time ago. This is because I can't do this anymore. It's too hard for me. I've been playing this game for five years and I'm tired now. Let it go."_

_With that, she turned on her heel and left Draco standing in a sheet in the middle of the small Muggle hotel room they had locked themselves in over the last few hours. Never had she actually left. Usually they fought, then he coaxed her back into bed until the early morning hours when they were forced their separate ways, all the while, knowing they'd meet again soon enough._

_This time, though, Draco thought she might be serious. And the thought terrified him. _What was he going to do now?


	10. Truth

**Truth**

* * *

_January 2005_

Hermione and Ron started trying to have a baby, and Hermione's resolve to stay away from Draco strengthened. It wasn't easy. She felt the urge to see him nearly every day, and he hadn't given up trying to get her to come to him, but as she committed to a family with Ron, she knew that her affair had to end.

Surprisingly, things were not as strained as she thought they would be when she gave up Draco. Ron was attentive to her needs, came home more frequently, and really tried to nurture their marriage as they took things to the next level. She knew he was trying to show her how good a father he'd be, but she didn't need the lesson. She already knew that about him.

"Hermione, you have to pay attention to positioning," Ginny told her as they sat down together one evening for tea. Ron and Harry were playing Wizarding chess in the living room while the ladies talked in the kitchen after dinner.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Well, the last thing I want to do is picture my brother having sex," Ginny laughed, "but to get pregnant, if you are having trouble..."

"Oh, we aren't having trouble," Hermione cut in. "I just got off the potion two weeks ago."

"Right," Ginny nodded, "but if you do, and many women do, you have to remember the best positions to conceive in."

"Like?" Hermione asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion. As far as she'd ever read, babies could happen in _any_ position. That was the point of birth control, was it not? Besides, she was a healer, who worked with pregnant women. If she didn't know more about reproduction than Ginny Potter, she needed to get in a new line of work.

"Well, missionary is the best. On all fours is okay too," Ginny said, blushing slightly. "You on top is not helpful at all. It's basic gravity." Hermione just nodded. It seemed that the Potters were more than happy about her choice to start a family with Ron and they wanted to help her get there. It didn't make the conversation any less weird or absurd. She wasn't used to having these kinds of conversations with her husband's sister, and frankly, she didn't think she needed to be told how to have a baby anyway.

"For the first few months, we are just going to try naturally," Hermione explained. "If nothing happens for a while, I plan to seek help." Ginny just nodded.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" she gushed. "It will be nice to have another mother around besides Fleur." Ginny rolled her eyes. Hermione never understood what the younger girl's problem was with her sister-in-law. Hermione always liked Fleur, but Ginny would likely never warm to her. She had a sneaking suspicion jealousy was the root of the problem, but kept her mouth shut.

When they returned home that night, Ron took her up to their room and made love to her, hoping this time they'd make the baby they longed for.

* * *

_March 2005_

Four months. It had been four months since he'd heard a word from her. His chest ached at the thought, and his work was suffering for his lack of focus, but he didn't care. How could that really have been it? It didn't feel like goodbye. It didn't feel like the end. And yet...

She hadn't responded to a single one of his requests. Usually she couldn't wait longer than a day to reply, but it had been four long months. His skin was crawling with the desire to see her, touch her, taste her, and he was unfulfilled.

What was more, the company was driving him 'round the bend. Any time he came up with new ideas, they were immediately shot down. Pureblood investors didn't like to take risks. They preferred to make money the old-fashioned way. Draco's fresh, young ideas were rarely even listened to, let alone appreciated, and he was beginning to wonder if he wasn't just a 'name' to them.

He tried to talk about it with his mother, but she wasn't really interested. All she cared about was the lifestyle that she had grown accustomed to, not how the money was actually made. He couldn't believe how different his mother and his lover were. Hermione would want to know every last detail of how the business was run, and likely would want to help him run it if she were able. His mother, on the other hand, just wanted to shop and gossip. He supposed it wasn't her fault. It was how she was raised, after all. Most Muggle parents wouldn't stand for dependent, vapid, shallow daughters these days. Pureblood society demanded it.

There was far too much on his mind at the moment. He considered writing Hermione another letter, but knew ishe wouldn't reply. He'd lost her. He hated everything and everyone that forced him down this path, and today, he didn't care who knew it.

* * *

_May 2005_

Hermione stared at the calendar. She was late. Her period should have arrived five days ago, and she was like clockwork. It was what they were trying for. It was what she wanted, so why did she feel her palms sweating and her heart racing?

It wasn't confirmed or anything. A late period could be caused by any number of factors. But she and Ron had been going at it nearly every night for two months straight. The likelihood that she could be pregnant was pretty high.

No thoughts of holding a tiny baby in her arms flashed before her eyes. Just thoughts of a life with the baby's father, and without Draco, came to mind. She sighed in frustration. It had been six months, half a year, when was this stupid obsession with him going to end?

Deciding against going to St. Mungo's, Hermione chose to use a Muggle pregnancy test. They were just as accurate as the pregnancy potion that witches used, and she wouldn't be caught buying one. The media was on her all the time, and she just didn't think she could handle it if she were outed buying a test, just to have to come back and say it was negative, if it was. Worse yet, it could be positive, then they'd never leave her alone.

A part deep inside of her was still hoping that it would be negative. _Why?_ This is what she wanted. This is what she'd thought long and hard about. Why now, did she want to back out? Maybe it was the reality of it all hitting her at once. Maybe she was just scared. Deep down, Hermione knew it was something else.

Pulling the test from the wrapper, she followed the directions and set it on the bathroom counter, waiting. She could do this. If it was positive, she'd have a beautiful baby and she and Ron would be the parents that they'd been saying they wanted to be for months. Her heart raced. Who was she kidding? She couldn't do this? She'd be a shit mother. She didn't even want to be with Ron. She wanted someone else. She was a liar and cheater, and she held out hope, in the depths of her heart, that one day she could be reunited with another man. What kind of mother was that?

Three minutes passed and Hermione took a deep, calming breath. She could do this. She could do this. She _had _to do this. Flipping the test over, relief flooded her instantly. _Negative._ Tears welled in her eyes as she breathed a heavy sigh of relief and let out a happy sob. It was then that she knew she couldn't have children with Ron. She couldn't live this lie anymore. It was making her crazy. It was making her someone she didn't want to be. She had to tell him the truth. She just hoped she had a friend left when she did.

* * *

It took a week for her to get everything prepared. Hermione was not the kind of person to make a life changing decision without a few preparations. So, when she finally had packed her stuff, little by little, without Ron noticing, and prepared a small flat for herself in London, she knew it was time.

Her heart had been racing all day. Telling her husband the truth might set her free from the chains she'd made for herself, but it would also hurt a person she loved very much. He'd hate her, and Harry and Ginny would hate her. The Weasley's would hate her, and they would be right. However, with her parents practically non-existent, they were all the family she had.

Several times she asked herself why she was even doing this. It wasn't like Draco would come running to her. He still had the little problem of 'no backbone' when it came to his mother and his company. But she reminded herself that this wasn't about Draco. This was about her. She couldn't live a lie anymore, and Ron deserved someone who could love him back as much as he loved her.

She was pulled from her internal monologue when Ron came through the door, a smile on his face. She hated that she'd have to remove that smile in a matter of moments. "Hello, love," he greeted.

"Hi, Ron. How was work?" Hermione asked, her voice sounding strained to her own ears.

"Long, but I'm glad to be home," he replied.

"Ron, we have to talk about something," Hermione said, patting the seat next to her on the couch.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, concerned as he sat next to her.

"Yes," Hermione swallowed. "This is not easy to say, but I only ask that you hear me out before you say anything," she said, looking into his eyes. He was concerned and confused but he nodded his head, and placed his arm around her shoulders. She had a feeling he wouldn't be able to stop himself, but she had to try anyway.

"Last week, I took a pregnancy test," she started. It seemed that her point of realization was the best place to begin.

"Are you?" Ron asked, excitement in his eyes.

Hermione shook her head, "No," she said, taking another calming breath. "But when I thought I was, I had a near panic attack."

"Hermione, I told you we can wait a little longer if you aren't ready," Ron said, frowning.

"I know," Hermione smiled. "It's not that. I'm trying to tell you what the problem is, but it's very hard to say." She breathed deeply and looked away from his eyes as he continued. "You don't know this-no one does-but our last year at Hogwarts, I had a boyfriend." Before he could ask who, she cut him off. "I'm not going to tell you, so please don't ask. He has a right to privacy as much as anyone else." Ron sighed reluctantly but nodded for her to continue.

"He broke my heart at the end of the year. Then, I had to sell my parents house and you were there and so kind and sweet, and you asked me to date you," Hermione said.

"I know all of this. I was there," Ron said, his voice growing tense, as if he knew what was coming.

Hermione nodded, "The thing is, I never stopped loving the other person. I love you, too," she quickly added when he features looked so hurt. "I will always love you. You've become my best friend. But, I've been keeping a secret from you, and I can't live like this anymore."

"Hermione, what are you trying to tell me?" Ron asked, moving his arm from around her shoulders as he looked her in the eyes.

Hermione felt the tears coming. This was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. It physically hurt her to hurt him. She briefly considered leaving out the part where she'd been cheating on him, almost their entire relationship, but decided against it. She had to be honest. She owed him the truth. "I've cheated on you, with him, for our entire marriage," she breathed, her voice strained against the tears.

Ron looked gobsmacked for a moment. Then his face changed to hurt, then angry. "You what?" he asked, his voice dangerously calm, but she knew that wouldn't last.

"I never meant for any of it to happen. I thought I was doing the right thing when I married you, but I loved him, and I was weak. I was stupid to have dragged you into this. I know you'll never forgive me, and I don't blame you," Hermione said. "I called it off with him when we decided to have a family. I haven't seen him in six months. But that day, when I thought I was pregnant, I just knew I couldn't do this anymore," Hermione explained through her tears.

"Who is it?" Ron demanded, and she knew he'd want to know.

"I can't tell you," Hermione replied lamely. Why was she protecting Draco, anyway?

"I deserve to know who's been fucking my wife," Ron cried, getting up from the couch and pacing in front of her. "I loved you, Hermione. I did everything for you. How could you do this to me?" He was pulling at his hair like a mad man, and Hermione's heart broke a little more at seeing him so disheveled. It was all her fault, after all.

"I'm so sorry, Ron," she cried again. "I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I _am_ truly sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but I was too selfish to stop."

"I can't even look at you," Ron muttered, turning away from her, sobs threatening to escape him at any moment.

"I understand," Hermione said. "I've found a flat, and I'll leave tonight. I'm all ready to go."

"You are leaving? You're not even going to try to work this out?" Ron snapped. "This is a marriage. You can't just run away. We have to deal with this."

"I'm not running away," Hermione explained. "But I also don't want to subject you to a life with a woman who can't love you the way you need."

"So you are going to go to _him_," Ron spat the last work like it was poison.

"No," she said. "He isn't an option anymore."

"Well, if you want to leave, I'm not going to stop you," Ron said, his voice like ice. She hadn't heard that tone from him since they were kids. It hurt, but she knew she deserved worse.

"Ron, please..." Hermione started.

"Just go," Ron said, his voice cold and tired. "I don't want to be in the same room with you."

Hermione sniffled and nodded, moving to the kitchen to grab her trunk where she'd left it. She left her new address on the table in case he wanted to contact her, and shuffled through the Floo to her new home.


	11. This Doesn't Change Anything

**This Doesn't Change Anything**

* * *

Draco's eyes doubled as he reread the headline on the cover of the _Daily Prophet_. He was glad his mother hadn't been the one to read the paper first. There was no way she'd refrain from cackling with glee over the the 'Mudblood's' failed marriage.

**_Golden Couple Split, Wizarding World Torn_**

'_Ronald Weasley and Hermione Weasley (nee Granger) have called it quits after nearly four years of marriage. An undisclosed source witnessed Mrs. Weasley moving her large trunk into a Muggle apartment complex in the Kensington area._

_Neither party would comment, but Ginny Potter (nee Weasley), sister to Ronald, offered this statement. "Hermione knows what she did, and she only has herself to blame." One can only assume Mrs. Weasley must have betrayed her husband. Perhaps she is not as golden as we were all led to believe._

_Not everyone places blame on the shoulders of the wife, however. Neville Longbottom, war hero and longtime friend of the Golden Trio, had this to say, "Hermione and Ron are both amazing people and, if they've chosen to end their relationship, there must be a very good reason." That is likely true. The question is, what was that reason?_

_We wanted a comment from Harry Potter, Ron and Hermione's best friend, but he was not able to be reached. Whenever he does make a comment, we will likely get the answers we are looking for. Until then, the couple wishes to keep the matter private._

A million thoughts buzzed through Draco's head as he read the short article for the third time. She left him. Did Ron know the truth? Would his name be outed next? The horror of that thought was squashed as the considered that Hermione had nothing keeping her from him any longer. No more guilt, or obligation would stop her from being with him.

He felt lighter as he got up from the breakfast table. Perhaps she was still too stubborn to contact him, but he wasn't. At least he'd get to the bottom of what the hell happened between Hermione and Weasley. Then he'd hold her in his arms and make her forget about that git.

* * *

Hermione sniffled into her tea cup as she looked at the post in front of her. She'd taken a two week vacation when she left Ron because she knew after that article hit the stands, she'd be swarmed by questions and she just needed a break from all of it.

Sitting here pondering over the post wasn't helping her mood, but she couldn't help it. Next to the divorce papers Ron had sent her, was a howler from Mrs. Weasley and three letters she couldn't help but keep reading even as they sliced a deeper hole in her heart. The first was from Ginny. It has been decidedly angry.

_Hermione,_

_I can't believe you'd do this to my brother. He's been nothing by kind and sweet to you. He loved you. He did everything for you and you slag around on him. You should be ashamed of yourself. I never want to see you again. I don't want to hear your name or talk about you after this. You are nothing but a whore. I hope you and your pathetic excuse for a 'boyfriend' are happy together. Don't worry about Ron, he's better off without you._

_Ginny_

She deserved that. Nothing she said was wrong. Ron was better off without her. She was the bad guy here. There was no denying that. But having Ginny say those things to her still hurt.

The second letter hurt far worse. It was from Harry.

_Hermione,_

_What the hell is going on? I thought you and Ron loved each other. Even if you didn't, you had no right to cheat on him. That's not you. The Hermione I knew would never betray anyone like that, certainly not her husband._

_If you want the truth, I'm completely on Ron's side on this one. You will always be my friend, but I can't even speak to you right now. You ruined everything between us. He will probably never forgive you, and I don't really think you deserve his forgiveness. I know you well enough to know that you already know that._

_Look, Hermione, I love you. You're one of my best friends, but it will be a long time until I can look at you. Maybe if you told him who it was, it would make it easier. I'm not trying to pressure you, but I think he has a right to know._

_Harry._

She wiped the tears from her eyes, pushing the letter away. His might have been nicer than Ginny's, but it hurt one-hundred times more. She sighed, picking up the last letter. She assumed she'd hear from Draco not long after the _Prophet_spilled the beans.

_Hermione,_

_I saw the news. I know you are sitting home alone sulking, and you need to stop. Please, let me come over tonight. I want to know what happened. I'm here for you, you know. I always will be. Please let me help you._

_Draco_

Part of her wanted to tell him to 'fuck off', but part of her needed company, and she couldn't think of anyone else that she might be able to talk to. It was weak, and it was stupid, and it would set her back in her plans to move on, but she itched to have something familiar to hold onto.

Pushing the offending letters out of her sight, she grabbed a Muggle pen and piece of paper, jotting down a note to Draco.

_Draco,_

_Come over if you want. I'll be home all day and night. My address is 3490 E. Campden Hill Road Apt. # 5. It's a Muggle flat, but discretion would be nice. The Prophet has people swarming the place._

_Hermione_

Happy with the result she sent it off with her owl and returned to her tea.

* * *

Hermione looked terrible when she opened the door to greet him. He was carrying a bouquet of wildflowers and offered them to her as he crossed the threshold. It had been quite a production getting there. He had to use a Notice-Me-Not charm so as to not be 'noticed' coming to her flat. The press was dying to catch her with a gentleman caller, and would have a field day if they caught _him_ coming to visit.

Hermione took the flowers and invited him to sit as she put them in a vase. "So, what happened?" Draco asked when she returned to the living room.

"I told him the truth," Hermione said.

"About me?" Draco asked.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "No, Draco. Your identity has been protected. Don't worry," she scoffed.

"That's not what I meant," he lied. That was actually a concern, but he was also confused as to why she outed herself. "I mean, he knows you cheated?"

"He knows everything but your identity," Hermione muttered.

"Why did you tell him?" Draco asked. He was elated, but still didn't understand it. He didn't suspect her, so why make things harder on herself.

"I was sick of lying," Hermione sniffled. "I thought I was pregnant, and I wasn't happy. I knew I couldn't lie to myself or him anymore."

"You're...you're not are you?" Draco asked, suddenly terrified at the prospect that she might be having Weasley's child and he'd ruined any chance that the baby had of a normal family.

"No," Hermione sighed. He breathed a sigh of relief, but looking over at her, he could tell she was far from being relieved about anything.

"Come here," he said, quietly as he pulled her into his arms. She willingly went with him and nestled her head in his chest as he ran his fingers, lovingly, though her hair. "I take it 'The-Boy-Who-Lived' and the Weasleys didn't take the news well," he said, stating the obvious.

"You could say that." Hermione sighed. "I'm certainly not welcome to the Burrow anymore. Harry doesn't want to speak to me, and Ginny's choice of words are a little more colorful than I want to hear right now," she snorted.

"They are idiots," Draco said.

"No they aren't, Draco," Hermione said. "I cheated on him, repeatedly. Just because they don't know it was with you, doesn't make it any better. I told him I didn't want to make our marriage work, and I walked out. How do you expect them to react? Now, here I am, alone, with no one. And I deserve all of it because I did this to myself. But it hurts. I can't even call my parents because they are on some expedition in Africa." She sighed in frustration.

"You aren't alone," Draco murmured, kissing her temple. "I'm right here." Hermione knew it was a bad idea, but she clung to that, letting it comfort her as she looked up into his eyes.

"Take me to bed?" she said, hoping he wouldn't want to talk anymore. She was talked out, and didn't want to rehash what they'd already been over a hundred times. She just needed to feel the comfort of the man she loved in her arms even for just a moment.

Draco knew she was covering her pain, but he'd missed her too much to deny her. Taking her hand in his, he let her lead the way to her bedroom, and for the first time since the days of Hogwarts, they spent the night together, not in some seedy hotel, but in her home, on her bed.

* * *

Hermione woke up late the next morning, deliciously sore in all the right places. They'd barely slept until dawn was breaking, and she hadn't had a workout like that in a long time.

She frowned when she noticed the half of the bed that he'd occupied was empty. Stretching, she moved out of bed and pulled her dressing gown around her. The smell of bacon hit her nose the minute she exited her bedroom and she knew he was still there. "Draco?" she called. He couldn't possibly be cooking, could he?

"In here," he called, and she followed his voice into the kitchen where he was, in fact, cooking.

"Where the hell did you learn to cook?" she asked with a chuckle.

"There are many things I know, Miss Granger." He grinned at her.

"Still Weasley, until I sign there," Hermione said, indicating the divorce papers on her kitchen table.

"So, sign them," he said with a shrug.

"You're right. I really should." Hermione sighed, there was really no use putting it off. It was her idea after all. Taking up the pen next to the stack of papers she took a deep breath and signed her name at the bottom of the sheet, officially cutting the ties of her marriage in a few short strokes.

Draco was more than elated that Hermione was free from her marriage, and intended to show her that by pampering her as he always should have. "Here's breakfast," he said, setting a plate before her before piling food on one for himself. He sat across from her and wondered if life could always be like this. He missed waking up next to her in the morning, and having chats, and being a normal couple.

"So, about last night," Hermione started, taking a bite of her eggs.

"It was amazing. And it's just the beginning," Draco said, his eyes shining brightly. "I can take care of the rent here, as I plan to stay quite often. We can do everything like we planned to do in the beginning. I know I was stupid, but I have a lot more latitude now..."

"Wait," Hermione stopped him, looking at him like he'd grown another head. "This is why we need to talk about last night."

"What do you mean?" Draco asked.

"I mean, last night was great, but it can't happen again," Hermione said seriously.

"Not this again," Draco said with a roll of the eyes. "You don't have a husband anymore. What's stopping us?"

"You," Hermione replied. When he looked at her confused, she explained. "The problem with us was not just that I was married. It was that you wanted me to be your dirty little secret. You still want that. You want to pay for my apartment and keep me on the side while you pretend you care nothing for me to the rest of the world. I'm not your whore, and I won't be your mistress. I'm worth more than that, Draco."

"I know, but..." Draco started, but she cut him off again.

"No, you never listen to me about this, and I'm going to make myself very clear. I invited you over last night because I was sad and lonely, and I really missed you. It wasn't right, because I knew that nothing had changed between us," Hermione said, looking into his eyes. "I want a family. I want a husband I can take out into public and who can give me children, and who loves _me_ more than anything or anyone else. You cannot give me those things. Just as I didn't deserve Ron, you don't deserve me," she finished forcefully.

"But, love..." Draco started, panicking. This was not how this morning was supposed to go. She was free now. How could she still not be his?

"Let's finish breakfast, and then you need to go," Hermione finally said. Draco wasn't hungry anymore. He just got up and magically cleaned the kitchen before turning to Hermione.

"I love you," he said, knowing that, right now, he wasn't going to change her mind.

"And I love you. But I have to love myself more, right now," she said, choking on her words as he left her apartment.


	12. Changes

**Changes**

* * *

_July 2005_

"Draco, dear, what are you staring at?" Narcissa asked at dinner as Draco worked to get his words to come out. He wasn't having much luck. There was a reason he was terrified of telling him mother about Hermione. She was ice cold and scary as hell when she wanted to be.

"Mother, what is it about Muggle-borns that disgusts you so much?" he asked, chickening out. He couldn't bring himself to tell her his true feelings for Hermione, even if it was what she needed. Not yet, at least. So, he went for making inroads on the issue.

His mother looked shocked by the question. "What are you on about?" she asked, her brows furrowing together. It _was_ a rather strange question for the dinner table, but it floated out of his mouth all the same.

"I'm just trying to understand why someone like Voldemort could come to power. I mean, what is it that is so bad about Muggles and Muggle-borns." This was the most honest conversion he'd ever had with her about the issue of blood purity, and his heart was racing.

"I should think it would be obvious," Narcissa said, her nose in the air.

"But it's not," Draco pressed. "They don't differ in power. In fact, many Muggle-borns have shown greater power than Purebloods. Voldemort himself was a half-blood, and Harry Potter is too. Potter's mom was able to thwart Voldemort with the oldest magic, and she was Muggle-born. Hermione Granger was the top of our class, and the brightest witch to pass through Hogwarts in 100 years, and she is a Muggle-born," he reasoned.

"Why are you asking about this? You know very well that Purebloods are of better stock," she said, her tone clipped and irritated.

"But that's not true either," Draco continued boldly. "In fact, Pureblood marriages produce more squibs than any other kind. Miscarriages are normal for most women in our society, and marriages are based on obligation and not love which leads to children who don't know how to love or show that love," he pointed out. He was starting to sound a little sappy, but he found it hard to believe that any parent really wanted their child to be emotionally stunted.

"Enough," Narcissa said, her voice stern and cold. "Things are the way they are. It doesn't matter how many N.E.W.T.'s that Mudblood got, or how much power Potter has. Purebloods will always remain on top of our world."

It was then that Draco figured it out fully. There was no reasoning with blind hatred. And that was what his mother was, a hateful, prejudice blood purist. He'd never be able to reason with her. It wouldn't matter if Hermione saved the world 10 times over, she'd never be accepted by his mother, and the thought killed him.

He was too close to having her not to consider the possibility that he might have to tell his mother the truth, but how could he when she was this blindly ignorant of facts? Then again, why did he want the approval of a woman who hated the woman he loved for no other reason that who her parents were? Was that Hermione's point all along?

"Fine, Mother," he said, sipping from his wine glass. Part of him wanted to tell her that Hermione Granger was the greatest witch in the whole world and he wanted to make her next Lady Malfoy, but the loyal part of him couldn't get the words past his teeth.

* * *

_August 2005_

Draco stared at the machine in front of him, wondering how the hell to turn it on. He really wished he had Hermione right now. She was probably an expert on these...computers. But he was doing this for her, and she wasn't speaking to him at the moment.

He'd wandered into a Muggle library in hopes of anything that might help him with his business and would get the ancient Pureblood investors out of his hair. If he was going to make his plan work, he'd have to come up with a completely new way of doing business. The only problem was, he only knew of one way. His father's way.

Even if he didn't have intentions to woo Hermione - which after the speech she gave him at their last meeting, he did - somehow, he had to fix the business. As it was, he was a figurehead, and he was far too smart to be merely a face and name. He had ideas for the business, he just didn't know how to make them work. One of his ideas was to incorporate Muggle investments via the stock market.

Hermione had told him a great deal about it in their Seventh Year, and he'd been fascinated. He devoured every bit of information there was on the NYSE and others. If he could get the business to cross over into the Muggle world, he could get all the money he needed to invest in both Muggle and wizarding products. The problem was, he didn't know how to do any of this on his own. Which brought him back to the computer.

It couldn't be that difficult. Looking around, he saw children as young as seven playing around on them. Biting the bullet, he decided to flag down a librarian. Maybe if she just told him how to turn the buggering thing on, and a few basics, he could figure it out.

* * *

Ostracized was too nice a word for what Hermione was going through. Well, not completely. Her friends at work had taken her side, with the exception of a particularly snotty receptionist on the main floor - but she didn't care about her. But, by her _real_ friends, she was on the 'no contact' list.

It had been over three months since she'd left Ron, and the Weasleys just pretended she didn't exist. It hurt, if she was honest about it. She had made a huge mistake, but she never really thought that her membership in their family was contingent on her relationship with Ron. It turned out she was wrong.

One thing she was enjoying was the single life. As she couldn't bear another doomed relationship; and Draco had made it clear that she still could only serve a sexual, and secret, roll in his life, she'd finally spent some time with herself and with the few friends she _did _still have.

Those friends included Luna, who was very understanding of the whole situation, and, surprisingly, Pavarti Patil. They both agreed she'd made a right mess of everything, but also agreed that love couldn't be denied, and though she should have made better choices, she couldn't be hated for not loving Ron even if he deserved it. Neither pushed her to tell who the mystery guy was, even though she knew they both were dying to know, and she appreciated that as well.

She missed Ron though...and Harry. They were the biggest part of her life for so long, and being totally cut off from them was harder than she thought possible. Ron was her husband, after all. She'd spent nearly every evening and morning with him. Waking up alone was hard. Doing everything alone was strange.

Then there was the issue of Draco. The longer he avoided her, the more she had to accept the fact that he wasn't willing to make her a priority in his life. She'd sort of held out hope that her ultimatum would be enough to get him to admit his love for her to the world, but after he left her apartment that night, he never contacted her again. She missed him too. Maybe most of all. She was proud of herself for not seeking him out, though. If he couldn't handle all of her, then he didn't deserve her, she kept reminding herself.

There was a knock at the door that pulled her from her kitchen cleaning. She wasn't expecting anyone, so she went to the door, confused. Her breath caught and her eyes grew wide when she saw Harry standing on the other side of the door.

"Can I come in?" he asked when she just stared at him.

"Umm, of course," Hermione said, moving aside to let him in. She led him to the living room and offered him a seat. "I'm glad you came."

"I'm still not sure if I am," Harry sighed.

"Why did you come then?" Hermione asked.

"I had to," Harry said, looking down at his hands. "I have to understand."

"I'll try to help you, but I fear you aren't going to like any of my explanations," Hermione said sadly.

"You're probably right. But...Hermione, why did you do it?" Harry finally asked, looking up at her.

"I love him," she said, swallowing hard. "I was completely wrong for cheating with him. There is no excuse for what I did. But that's why I did it. That's the whole reason. It wasn't because I wanted to hurt Ron or because I had some evil plan to break his heart."

"Who is it?" Harry said. When Hermione started to protest he shook his head. "No, I'm not going to take your vague denials anymore, Hermione. I want to know who he is."

Hermione sighed. "I can only tell you if you swear you are never going to tell anyone. Not Ginny. Not Ron. Not anyone."

"Why are you so scared of people finding out?" Harry asked.

Hermione sniffled. "I'm not. He is," she said. "That's why we broke up to begin with. He didn't want anyone to know about us."

"And you didn't kick his arse?" Harry asked, almost amused. The Hermione he knew would hex a guy like that into next week.

"I was in love, and stupid. He broke my heart, but I couldn't help how I felt about him anyway," Hermione tried to explain. She sounded so...girly. But, perhaps that's what loved did to you.

"I swear I won't tell anyone. But for me, your best friend, I need to know. I have to understand." Harry was pleading now. She knew it wouldn't make anything easier for him to understand, but she understood his desire to know.

Hermione was trembling now. She wanted to tell him so badly. Telling him would make it all real. And she knew she could trust him. If Harry Potter was anything, it was trustworthy. "You aren't going to like who it is," she warned.

"I don't like any of this," Harry pointed out.

"Draco," Hermione whispered. "Draco Malfoy." Harry's silence caused her to look up from her lap. He was just staring at her. Disbelief crossed his features before he schooled them.

"All of this for Draco Malfoy," he asked, finally. He tried to keep her voice nonjudgmental, she could tell, but he wasn't totally successful.

"You don't know how he really is," Hermione tried to explain.

"I'll tell you what I _do_ know, Hermione. He broke your heart because he was afraid for anyone to find out that you were together. Then, when he knew you were married to someone else, he seduced you into cheating with him." Harry enumerated Draco's crimes and she couldn't help but feel a little protective of Draco in the moment. It wasn't like that, exactly. "And, I'll bet he didn't feel the least bit of remorse about it."

"I can't answer that," Hermione said. "But let me ask you this, Harry. Do you love Ginny?"

"Of course I do," he said.

"Imagine if she told you that she loved you, but she couldn't be with you in the open because her family would never accept it. Imagine that her career would be ruined if she openly dated you," Hermione said. "Would you be able to cast her aside?"

"No," Harry said, "but I also wouldn't have married someone else."

"Touché," Hermione said with a nod. "I was selfish and wrong when I dragged Ron into this mess. I know you and the Weasleys will never forgive me, and I deserve it."

"You don't need my forgiveness," Harry said. "You didn't hurt me. And I love you no matter what. But you have to know that Ron will probably never forgive, especially if he ever finds out what Malfoy is the other guy."

"I know," Hermione nodded. "I miss him. How is he?"

"Not too good," Harry admitted. "He's trying. I think Ginny makes it worse, honestly."

"I'll bet my name is thrown around a lot at the dinner table," Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I'm trying my best to get her to see reason, but he's her brother. She loves him," Harry explained.

"I get it," Hermione assured him. "Maybe one day they won't hate me."

"I don't think Ron hates you," Harry said. "He loved you very much, and you ripped his heart out. He just needs time." Hermione nodded.

"You better go before your wife has you castrated for talking to the enemy," she laughed hollowly.

"I'm Harry Potter," he said with a smirk. "I see who I want. But you are probably right. I'd better go."

"Please don't be a stranger," Hermione said hopefully.

"I'll try."

* * *

_November 2005_

Draco finally got it. It was a dream that brought everything together for him. In the dream, he and Hermione were together, married, happy, with children surrounding them. When he's woken up, he felt so overwhelmingly happy and terribly disappointed that it wasn't real all at the same time.

He wanted that. He wanted it so bad he could tasted it. He wanted it so bad, he wondered how he'd ever been content with having Hermione sporadically. He was stupid. He was shortsighted and selfish, and he only hurt himself in the end...and Hermione of course.

It all had to change. He couldn't live without her. He couldn't go on one more year without her by his side and in his life. Really, truly in his life this time. The company was nearly ready for the transition anyway. And, so what if his mother wasn't happy for him. He was nearly twenty-five years old and the breadwinner of the family. Would she really give up the lifestyle just to stick it to him? For the first time in his life, he didn't care anymore. He wasn't living a lie anymore.


	13. For You

**For You**

* * *

_December 2005_

She tried dating. It was official. She didn't like it. Parvati had set her up on a date, and though she had protested it, eventually the constant nagging made her give in. It was one date. How bad could it be? Terrible.

He was short, incredibly boring, and had evidently read a few of Ginny's public comments about her and thought she was easy. After an excruciating hour-long dinner, he expected her to take him back to her flat and 'rock his world'. When she explained that she most certainly would not, his response about her obvious lack of morality and accompanying smirk was enough to make her want to hex him.

It was now official - she'd be a lonely person. Maybe she'd go to a Muggle sperm bank and just have a baby by herself. Perhaps getting a new cat would help. Heaving a sigh, she rolled her eyes. Who was she kidding? Stupid Draco Malfoy did this to her. He had to go and be charming, smart, sexy, and perfect for her, all while being a real bastard who wouldn't commit to her out in the open. Stupid ferret.

* * *

_January 2006_

"Two Mudbloods jump off a tall building. Who hits the ground first?"

"I don't know, who?"

"Who cares?" Laughter filled the boardroom as the investors and upper management at Malfoy Enterprises gathered for a meeting. They were still waiting on a few people, so Draco couldn't start yet. However, the jokes were making him nuts. These men were so ignorant; he couldn't wait to give them exactly what they deserved.

"Want to hear a joke?" another man said, grinning wildly. "Mudblood rights!" Most people it the room cackled, and Draco looked at his watch, hoping he could start the meeting soon before he exploded.

Another one chimed in, "Why did the Mudblood cross the road? That's not the point. Why wasn't she chained to the bed?"

Draco had enough. Luckily, his own assistant walked in and rounded out the group. "Okay," he said, his voice tense. He was both nervous and pissed off, and he was having trouble deciding which he felt more. Probably pissed off. He couldn't believe that grown men really felt this way about other human beings. Well, he shouldn't be surprised. Didn't his mother and father both have the same feelings? It made him sick.

The group quieted down and gave Draco their attention. Standing, he took a deep breath before he started the speech he'd been practicing for weeks, "Today, things are going to change around here," Draco said, looking around the room. They were silent and confused, just as he thought they'd be. "For too long, I've let you all take the reins of this company. I did things the way my father did them, and I need you to know that will not continue. First of all, the time for jokes about Muggle-borns and women is over. This is a workplace, not a cigar lounge." His voice was stern and he could see the narrowing eyes of the older men around him.

"This business, from this point on, is pro-Muggle. In fact, I have even started the process of forming connections with large Muggle corporations and starting Monday, this company will be publicly traded on the London Stock Exchange." There was mumbling around the room, likely people asking what the hell the London Stock Exchange was.

"That said, I really won't need most of you anymore. Anyone who believes that pureblood society is superior to others, or that the 'old ways' are better than new, can leave. Take your money with you; we no longer have any use for it. Those of you who are excited to take Malfoy Enterprises into the 21st Century, are welcome to stay, but let me make myself clear," he took a deep breath and made eye contact with everyone in the room, "things _will_ change around here. This is my company, and if doing the right thing means running it into the ground, then that's what I will do. I won't be treated like a figurehead any longer, and I won't listen to mindless, sexist, racist chatter about people that I care about."

Scowls marred the majority of the faces in the room and he was wondering if there was going to be a fight. "You are making a big mistake, Malfoy," one of the oldest investors said, standing up. "You're father would be ashamed of you."

"To tell you the truth, I'm ashamed of my father," Draco countered, causing a gasp to erupt in the room. "Now, you all have a choice to make. Stay or go, but if you stay, know that things will be a lot different."

Angry muttering filled the room as all but three of the investors walked out. About half of the staff left too. Finally, when they'd vacated the room, Draco saw he was left with three investors and about fifteen staff members, most of whom were women. Smiling for the first time in the meeting, he sighed. "I'm glad to see some of you stayed. Now, I think I'd better explain to you my new plans for the company." Everyone nodded, removing quills and parchment to take notes. Draco knew it was going to be a long day, but he felt an enormous weight lifted off his shoulders. He wished he'd done this a long time ago.

* * *

"Mother," Draco said, as he found her in the tearoom at the Manor. "I have to tell you something."

"Yes, dear," she said, smiling up at him.

"If all goes according to plan, I plan to bring a woman to dinner tonight," Draco said, pulling nervously at his clothes.

"Oh, Draco!" Narcissa cried, her eyes shining with excitement. "Finally, you are bringing someone home! I might get those grandchildren after all!" she clapped her hands together, and he almost grimaced. He had a feeling she wasn't going to be quite so excited when he showed up with his 'date', assuming Hermione would even agree to come with him.

"Mother, it is very important to me that you treat this girl with respect. She means a lot to me," Draco said seriously.

"Of course, Draco. Why wouldn't I?" She was beaming and Draco just nodded and left the room. He didn't know if this was the best way to deal with his mother, but part of him held out hope that if she just got to know Hermione, she'd love her as much as he did.

* * *

Hermione had just settled into her couch with a cup of hot cocoa, pajamas already donned at five in the afternoon when there was a knock at her door. Confused, she sighed, wrapped her throw blanket around herself, and went to the door. Everyone she talked to knew she was planning a night in with her TV and DVD player.

Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Draco, dressed impeccably, standing on the other side of the door. It had been months since they'd seen each other. He had respected her wish to cut off contact, and all of a sudden, here he was. "Wh..Why..." she started, but couldn't get a full sentence out.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

Was he nervous? She'd never seen him nervous before. She was the one that should be off kilter. She was standing in front of his beautiful form looking like a train just hit her. Nodding, she moved aside allowing him to come in. Whatever it was, it had better be good. He better not have come over for a booty call, or she'd hex him into next month.

"Would you like some tea? Or hot chocolate?" she asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Actually, I really just want to talk to you. I couldn't drink it, even if you made it," Draco said, sitting on her couch and motioning for her to sit next to him. She did, but not close.

"So, what did you want to talk about? I mean, I thought we said all there was to say..." Hermione said, trailing off.

"We did," Draco said. "You were right. I was selfish, and how I treated you was so wrong. I loved you. I love you still. I will always love you. I don't know how I couldn't see it before, but all the things you want-the family, the happy future, all of that-I want that too. I only want it with you," Draco said, he was rushing, but he was nervous and hoped that she wouldn't kick him out before he got to tell her everything.

"I know that, Draco," Hermione said, not willing to let him get her hopes up. "But we still have a problem." Her heart beat faster as she listened to his confession. She wanted to hear these things for so long, but she couldn't bring herself to believe he was really fulfilling her dream. She'd been let down too many times.

"Not anymore," Draco said. "I told my close friends about us, and they don't really care. They don't like you, but they don't care about us being together." Hermione's jaw dropped. The absolute last thing she expected was _that_.

"That still doesn't change anything," Hermione started. His friends were the very smallest of their problems. He just smiled at her and cut her off.

"I also fired most of my investors today," Draco said.

"You _what? _Are you crazy?" Hermione shrieked. How the hell was he going to run a business without financial backing. She wanted to be public, not to financially ruin him!

"No," Draco said. "I've been researching this since the morning you ran me out of here. I set up investments with some Half-bloods, Muggle-borns, and Muggle companies," he explained. "I can tell you all about the new business plan sometime, but suffice it to say, I got rid of the racist pricks that were infecting my company."

"Wow, Draco. I'm really proud of you. It must have taken a lot of courage," Hermione said. She was more than a little shocked. That was a big step, and for a man who had no formal business training, it was quite impressive. She felt a tug at her heart, knowing he did it, at least partly for her.

"It had to be done. For you and for me," Draco said. Hermione smiled, but didn't let herself get her heart invested just yet. There was a big obstacle still left in play.

"And your mother?" Hermione asked, hope lacing the edge of her voice.

Draco sighed. "This is the hardest task, but I want to tell her about you. I want you to be mine, and I want to bring you to dinner to introduce you. I think if she just got to know you, she'd come around."

"Draco, are you telling me that you want to be with me, in the open?" Hermione asked, clarifying. She had to make sure she wasn't misunderstanding...again.

"More than anything. I only want you. I did all of this for you because I can't live without you," Draco said, taking her hands in his. He was wearing his heart on his sleeve, something she'd only seen him so a handful of times, and it was enough to get her to believe him. If what he said was true, he really had put his money where his mouth was.

"And you want me to meet your mother?" Hermione asked, trying to hold onto the facts at hand instead of falling into his intense gaze. "Like this?" she said, indicating her appearance.

Draco chuckled. "Well, if you wish. Although, I think you might want to change."

Hermione rolled her eyes, but turned serious again. "How do I know this is real? How do I know that if Narcissa doesn't like me you won't drop me again?"

"You have to trust me," Draco said. "I know I don't deserve it, but please trust me. I'll make a wand oath," he offered. Hermione laughed at his serious expression.

"I'll trust you," she said. "But if you break my heart again, that's it. I'm done."

"That's fair. Please let me just have a chance to make it up to you," Draco pleaded. Hermione nodded and made her way to her bedroom where she got ready while Draco watched her TV.

* * *

"Draco, maybe this is a bad idea," Hermione said, fidgeting nervously by Draco's side as they walked toward the front door of his enormous house. She remembered the last time that she was here, she was being dragged up the front steps.

Draco turned to her and cupped her cheek. "I won't let anything happen to you, Hermione. I swear." Hermione smiled through her grimace and took a few deep breaths before she nodded and let him lead her through the door. She wasn't added to the wards, so they couldn't Apparate in together, nor could she Floo in. It was something he'd have to change immediately. For now, this was the best he could do.

He squeezed her hand in his for reassurance and led her to the dining room where he knew his mother would already be prepared for their arrival. Her steps were slow and halting and he understood why. He'd second-guessed his plan about a million times since he made it. Was it a bad idea to blindside his mother? On the other hand, was there any other way to introduce the two? He just hoped Hermione wasn't caught in the crossfire.

"Draco, wait," Hermione said, stopping before they reached the dining room doors. "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, there is no going back after this."

Draco smirked at her. "I'm well aware of that. I've lived as a coward for too long."

"Thank you, Draco," Hermione smiled, finally feeling the gravity of his decision to take this seriously.

"Don't thank me, yet," he chuckled. "Mother could still be a pain in the ass."

"As long as you support me," Hermione said with a smile. She linked arms with him and let him lead her into the dining room. She was Hermione Granger, Order of Merlin, First Class, and celebrated War Heroine. She could handle Narcissa Malfoy.

The first thing Hermione heard was a sharp gasp as they entered the room. "Draco, what is the meaning of this?" Narcissa's aristocratic voice said from the head of the table where she was already sitting.

Hermione felt grateful that she'd dressed up for the event as Draco's mother was wearing an evening gown. She obviously had dressed to impress, though, currently she looked as if she was wondering why she'd bothered.

"Mother, this is Hermione Granger. You've met before," Draco said, leading Hermione to the chair to the right of his mother while he took the one across from her, to his mother's left.

"I'm well aware who this is, Draco," Narcissa snapped, not even looking at Hermione. Hermione wanted to point out that it was rude to ignore a guest, but thought better of it. Draco had to handle this. It was his job, and his right.

"Hermione is my girlfriend," Draco said. Hermione couldn't help but smile, as it was the first time she'd ever heard him utter the sentence. Things had really changed. Later, she'd have to find out what really happened to make him see the light.

"But she's a Mudblood," Narcissa stated blandly. Draco's fist hitting the table startled Hermione from her shock. She knew Narcissa would be a tough sell, but she had no idea the woman was this bad, or this openly rude. Perhaps she understood Draco's trepidation a little better. It didn't change her opinion of how he handled things, but she could see how a woman like that might be a bit intimidating, especially if she was your mother.

"Mother, you won't talk about her like that," Draco growled.

"This is my house. I'll do as I please," Narcissa countered.

"Actually, Mother, it's _my_ house," Draco returned. He thought things might go down this path, and he was prepared. The last thing he would stand for was Hermione feeling any more uncomfortable in his house than she already did. "Father left_me_ everything, including the Manor."

"I did not raise you to talk to me this way. If you are going to date _this_," Narcissa said, turning up her nose in Hermione's direction, "I'd rather see you single for the rest of your life."

"Mrs. Malfoy," Hermione tried to interject, her voice respectful, although she wanted to throttle the woman, "I understand this must be a shock..."

"Don't you talk to me. You've done enough. What kind of game did you play to get my son to do this to me?" Narcissa spat, looking at her as if she was an insect in need of squashing.

Hermione was shocked. Could someone truly be this blindly hateful? "I..." she started, but she didn't actually know how to respond.

"Mother, stop it," Draco demanded. "I made the first move. I pursued her," he explained. "We've been in a relationship for over six years." He explained, knowing the truth was the best option in this case. After all, he owed Hermione that. She'd suffered a great deal of ridicule protecting him all these years.

"So you _were_ cheating on your husband, Miss Granger," Narcissa scoffed. "I knew it."

"I don't see how that is relevant," Hermione responded stubbornly.

"Well, if you will cheat on one man, you'll cheat on another," the older woman replied.

"Mother, that was my doing too," Draco said, disappointed. He really hoped she'd behave better than this. "It is none of your business what Hermione did, does, or will do in the future. I made a choice to be with her, and I want you to accept it." He sighed heavily when she made no move to acknowledge him. "You are my mother. I was scared to tell you, and it almost ruined everything." He smiled at Hermione who gave him a smile of encouragement in return. "I'm just asking you to be understanding."

"No," Narcissa said, crossing her arms over her chest, regally. "I don't accept it, and if your father was here, he'd knock some sense into you."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Mother," Draco said, feeling emotions well inside him. "Because if you force me to choose between Hermione and you, I'm choosing her. I went six years doing what everyone else wanted me to. I'm not doing it anymore." His mother's mouth dropped open and he figured it was the best time to drop the rest of the bomb on her.

"And, if you have such a hard time accepting Muggles and Muggle-borns, I think you might want to cancel any and all shopping sprees you have planned in the future, because Malfoy Enterprises is officially Muggle integrated," he said matter-of-factly.

"Draco, who are you?" Narcissa asked, her voice scandalized. "That company has been in our family for generations."

"Yes, and now, _this_ generation is going to bring it into the 21st Century," Draco said. "Perhaps Hermione and I should go. We'll give you some time to think about things. But know this; she's here for good." Hermione smiled when she saw how strong and forceful Draco was being. She'd dreamed about this moment for years, and the reality was overwhelming.

"Come, love. Do you mind if we stay at your flat tonight?" Draco asked, getting up from the table without a backward look to his mother.

"No, that's fine," Hermione said, taking his hand and letting him lead her out of the room. Looking back at Narcissa she pasted on a smile and said, "Good evening, Mrs. Malfoy." She didn't even get a grunt in response.

"You know the press will find out about this eventually," Draco said.

"What better night than tonight?" Hermione sighed. There was no use putting it off. Her old friends would have a heart attack, but as they weren't talking to her, she didn't see how anything would change. Besides, she'd waited to be Draco's for a long time. If he was willing to be open, so was she.

"Okay, so public dinner before we head back to your place," Draco smiled.

* * *

"What are your bets that Rita Skeeter broke a heel getting back to headquarters to write the article about our 'outing'?" Draco asked with a chuckle.

"Oh, I think that's a safe bet," Hermione said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "Thank you, Draco. You made me really happy tonight."

"Don't thank me," Draco said. "I should have done this so long ago."

"Yes, but I'm glad you did it eventually." Hermione smirked. "Come to bed."

"It's been too long," Draco almost moaned, leaning in to kiss her neck.

"Yes, and even longer that we've been together without the weight of the world on our shoulders," Hermione mused, running her fingers through his hair.

"You're right," Draco smiled against her. Pushing her gently back, he lead her to the bedroom, pulling at the zipper of her dress along the way. She kicked it off as it pooled at her feet, and couldn't help that her heart skipped a beat as she realized this would be the first time they made love as...a couple. It changed things. She knew he felt it too.

His kisses were passionate and frenzied at first, until her legs hit the edge of the bed and they tumbled onto it together. His shirt had already been ripped off and his trousers were nearly open. Slowing down to savor the feeling of her skin against his, he ran his fingers lightly up her sides before bending down to kiss her again.

"Please, Draco..." Hermione breathed, clutching him to her. She couldn't wait any longer than he could. Pushing his own trousers and boxers down his legs, Hermione reached around and rid herself of her bra, her knickers came off next and, soon, they were pressed against each other naked.

"Merlin, I've missed you. I've missed this," Draco groaned, rubbing against her, letting the wetness between her legs coat his cock.

"Me too. Please..." Hermione gasped. She was already feeling an orgasm building from the way he was rubbing against her. "I need to feel you inside me, now," she begged.

Draco groaned and kissed her tenderly as he pulled back and sunk into her wet heat. "Yes..." they both hissed in unison. Hermione tilted her hips so that he sank deeper and Draco thought his eyes would roll into the back of his head.

Pulling back, he pushed into her again, this time with more force. "Yes, harder," Hermione begged, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. He complied with her wishes, but kept the lovemaking tender at the same time. The last time either of them had touched each other like this was the night Draco broke her heart. Draco had wanted to relive that night over and over, but changing the ending of course.

"I love you," he breathed, gripping her hips tighter as he fucking her harder. He was so close to oblivion, he couldn't control the pace any longer.

"Yes," Hermione almost growled. "I love you, too." She met him thrust for thrust, seeking out her own end. She wanted to do this again, a hundred times tonight, but she _had _to come right now. Her body was begging for release, and after months of sexual frustration and years of emotional neglect from the man inside her, she needed this. It felt better than sex with them had ever felt, simply because it was real this time.

Draco pounded harder and harder, his breath coming out in desperate pants as he brought them both toward the edge.

"Draco!" Hermione shouted, feeling her legs shake around him as she came hard and fast against him.

When he felt her tighten around his engorged cock, he gripped her tighter and plowed through his orgasm; grunting her name as he shot his seed deep inside her waiting body. Slumping over, he pulled her to him; too exhausted to speak, and waited for his heart to stop racing.

"Mmm," was all she could say, too sated and content to really do anything but lay atop his chest.

"My thoughts exactly," he chuckled.

"Please, don't leave me," Hermione finally said after several minutes of silence. "I can't do this again."

"I'm not going anywhere this time," Draco promised.


	14. It's All Out There

**It's All Out There**

* * *

"Shit!" Hermione muttered over her coffee. "Shit, shit, shit!"

"What's wrong?" Draco asked. It was already mid-morning, as they'd spent a great deal of time reacquainting the night before, and he couldn't figure out what had her so upset in the first 10 minutes out of bed.

"Read this," she sighed, heaving the _Daily Prophet_ at him. The front cover was a picture of the two of them, chastely kissing at dinner.

**_Hermione Granger's Secret Lover Revealed_**

_Breaking news! Last night, War Heroine, Hermione Granger (formerly Weasley) was spotted getting cozy with Draco Malfoy, one of the wealthiest men in England, and practically Pureblood royalty to boot._

_Situated in a cozy corner of 'The Smoldering Cauldron' restaurant in Diagon Alley, Hermione and her new beau enjoyed a light dinner as they kissed and cuddled with each other. These two are definitely in love. The question is, how long have they been so?_

_Given months of speculation about the possible reason for the breakup of the Golden Couple, back in May, could this be why? How long have Miss Granger and Mister Malfoy been cuddling up to each other?_

_In order to get this to print, we were unable to get a comment from Miss Granger, Mister Malfoy, or Mister Weasley, but suffice it to say, if Hermione and Draco have been seeing each other for a while, I think we can speculate as to the reason her marriage failed to begin with. Is Hermione Granger a war hero? Or man eater? Look out Draco Malfoy, you just might find yourself in the same position as Ron Weasley._

"Well, it's not flattering," Draco said, frowning. "But we knew that something like this would be printed."

"I know," Hermione said with a sigh. "But I really didn't consider what it would be like to actually see the words staring back at me. You know Ron is going to see this," she pouted.

"He'd have to find out eventually," Draco pointed out.

"I know that, Draco," Hermione said with a huff. "But I should have told him myself. I owed him that."

"Well, cat's out of the bag now," Draco said with a shrug. It only proved to irritate her more.

"I know you don't care about him, but he was my best friend. He was my husband. I care about him, even if he isn't speaking to me. He didn't deserve to find out like that. I should have considered this before we went to that restaurant last night," Hermione muttered the last part to herself.

"Hermione, what can you do about it?' Draco sighed.

"I need to go talk to him," Hermione decided, moving quickly to the bedroom to get dressed.

"Wait, you're going to go to him?" Draco asked, outraged.

"Yes," Hermione said. "He deserves an explanation."

"Do you really think he wants one?" Draco pointed out.

"I don't know," Hermione said, pulling on her clothes. "But he deserves one. I'll be back in an hour, tops. Just make yourself some breakfast."

"You're leaving me here?" Draco nearly shrieked.

"You don't think I'm bringing you with me?" Hermione countered. "I'd like for both of you to make it out of this alive."

"Fine, but hurry. I don't like you going over there by yourself," Draco pouted.

"I'll be fine. Ron would never hurt me. He might not even let me in," Hermione said.

* * *

Hermione knocked hard on the door to Ron's new flat. She was so happy she didn't have to contend with the Burrow. Mrs. Weasley would sooner hex her than let her into the house to even talk to her ex-husband, especially after the _Prophet_article.

She was surprised when Ginny answered the door. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw the redhead's face turn red with anger. "What the hell are you doing here? Don't you have Malfoy to keep you busy this morning?" she sneered.

Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes, knowing it would only make things worse. "Can I speak with Ron?" she asked, simply.

"He doesn't want to see you," Ginny said defiantly.

"Who's at the door?" Ron asked from behind her, and when he saw Hermione standing at the door, his breath, audibly, caught. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice more broken than angry.

"I wanted to talk to you," Hermione said.

"I assume this is about the paper," Ron said, his voice quavering slightly. "No need to explain. I get what happened."

"But I want to explain," Hermione pleaded, trying to get around Ginny.

"Ginny, leave us for a few," Ron finally said, never taking his eyes off Hermione. He looked both hurt and angry, and she could understand why. She was the villain in this story.

"Ron..." Ginny protested.

"I'm fine. Go get breakfast or something," Ron insisted. Ginny sighed and shot Hermione a look that could kill before pushing past her to leave the flat. "Come in," he motioned, turning his back on her immediately as he walked into the living room.

She sat awkwardly on the couch while he sat across from her on an armchair. He didn't say a word, so she assumed he was waiting for her to speak. "Ron, I know that you don't understand, and I don't expect you to, but what I feel for Draco is true love."

Ron looked like he was in great pain when she said that. "So he was the one?" Ron asked. "The one you cheated on me with?"

"Yes, Ron. The only one," Hermione explained.

"Malfoy, of all people," Ron muttered. She could tell he was trying his best to hold back his emotions, and it hurt her to see him like this.

"I'm so sorry, Ron. If I could choose whom to love, I would have picked you. You were good to me-far better than I deserved. I was a terrible wife, a terrible woman, and I'd have made a terrible mother to your children," Hermione said. "I can only be who I am, and you and I were not meant for each other."

"How can you say that?" Ron asked. "I loved you more than anything. Merlin damn it all, I still love you, even after that. Why? Why can't I just hate you? You deserve it!" he shouted at her.

"I do. I deserve your hate. But you have to know that I didn't mean any of this to happen," Hermione said.

"That doesn't help me," Ron said, looking down and taking a deep breath. "Look, I know what you are trying to do. You feel guilty. But there is no need. What's happened, has happened. I can't get over you if you are in my life, which is why I cut ties. I'll never be able to get over what you did to me. You lied, cheated, and used me," Ron enumerated. "But I'll never hate you. You were my wife. You shared a part of my life that no one else has, or maybe ever will."

"I do love you, Ron, just not like you want me to," Hermione said her voice trembling.

"Which is why, as much as it pains me, we have to make a clean break. The only way to get over this, is to stop seeing and hearing about you. Now that you are with Malfoy, I guess I'll have to end my subscription to the _Daily Prophet_," Ron said, as he cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"I wish it wasn't like that," Hermione said.

"But it is," Ron said. "Look, you should probably leave. Ginny will have your head, if you are still here when she gets back."

"Probably," Hermione said, looking down sadly. "Thank you, by the way."

"For what?" Ron asked.

"For not going to the press. Thank you for keeping what happened between us," Hermione said.

"I'm not that kind of man," Ron said.

"I know," Hermione smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry about my family," Ron said, leading her to the door. "I told them not to freeze you out. I know they were important to you."

"But they are your family," Hermione sighed.

"Still, I didn't want them to turn on you like they did. I don't encourage it," Ron explained.

"I know," Hermione smiled. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that," Ron said. "It doesn't make it any better." Hermione just nodded and left.

* * *

"Better open these," Draco said, indicating the two howlers on the kitchen table when she got home. "I got rid of the hate mail that I could, but you know how howlers are."

Hermione nodded, sighing as she picked up the first howler.

"YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BITCH! AFTER EVERYTHING YOU PUT MY SON THROUGH, NOW YOU ARE WALTZING AROUND DIAGON ALLEY WITH THAT DEATH EATER! I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D DO THIS TO HIM - TO US. WE LET YOU INTO OUR HOME, INTO OUR FAMILY, AND YOU DO _THIS_ TO US. I HOPE YOU ARE VERY HAPPY WITH THAT DEATH EATER MURDERER. YOU DESERVE EACH OTHER. YOU ARE NEVER WELCOME IN MY HOME AGAIN!"

Hermione wiped at her tears quickly, trying not to let Mrs. Weasley's words get to her, but it was hard. Draco took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles.

"Okay, love?' he asked softly.

"Yes," Hermione nodded, "let's get the next one over with." She pulled it open and the howler screamed at her.

"LISTEN HERE, YOU MUDBLOOD FILTH. YOU WILL NEVER BE LADY MALFOY, AND YOU WILL NEVER LIVE IN THIS HOUSE AS LONG AS I LIVE. MY SON WILL SEE THE LIGHT AND YOU WILL BE LEFT ALONE, THE WORTHLESS MUDBLOOD THAT YOU ARE. YOUR TAINTED BLOOD AND YOUR DEPLORABLE UPBRINGING MAKE ME SICK AND THEY WILL MAKE DRACO SICK TOO. GIVE HIM UP! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM."

Hermione was more than stunned by Mrs. Malfoy's use of vulgarity in her howler.

"I got one from her too," Draco said, sighing. "Don't worry about her. She can accept us or get out of the way."

"Where did the other hate mail come from?" Hermione asked.

"The usual suspects," Draco said. "A few from jealous Slytherins. One from Ginny. Several from people you don't even know who think you are a harlot," he sighed. "Don't listen to them, Hermione. They don't know anything about us."

"I know," Hermione said. "I have you, and I have my real friends. And while Ron doesn't forgive me, he doesn't hate me," Hermione said.

Draco just rubbed her back. "Speaking of friends, there is another letter for you. I didn't read it, but I assume it's safe to read. It's not a howler." He handed her a note from Harry.

_Hermione,_

_I guess the cat's out of the bag. Ginny is absolutely apoplectic. I've tried to get her to see your side, but she won't. I'm sorry about that. It is her brother after all._

_I hope you made the right decision. I hope the two of you are happy. Well...at least I hope you are happy. I could care less about Malfoy. I take it from the article he's decided to take things public. That's good for you, I guess._

_I'm here for you, if you need me._

_Harry_

"It's not bad," Hermione said. "He's as accepting of this as he's ever going to be."

"Good, I guess." Draco could care less what Potter thought, but if it made her happy, that made him happy.

"It will never be the same though," she said sadly. "Nothing ever will."

"Are you regretting this?" Draco asked.

"No," Hermione said, quickly, shaking her head. "I love you, Draco. You are worth the sacrifice, or I wouldn't have made it," she assured him. "It's just hard to think that, my childhood friendships are really dead."

"But a new life is about to start with us," Draco said, pulling her into his lap. "And I'll do my best to make sure you never have the chance to miss them."

Hermione smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Did you save me any breakfast?"

"Of course, love." Draco smiled down at her. She knew, looking up at him, that everything had been worth it. She'd made mistakes, but this was where she was supposed to be. It all fit together, finally.


	15. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

* * *

_November 2018_

"Hermione, you better come in here. It's from Hogwarts," Draco called to his wife from his home office in their own Manor near the sea. Narcissa had been given the original Malfoy Manor where she chose to stay, cutting her ties to Draco when he chose to be with Hermione. She got a monthly allowance, though, and that was all she really cared about.

Hermione hadn't even left for work at St. Mungo's and he'd already intercepted a very official-looking letter from Hogwarts where their oldest child, a beautiful daughter named Cassiopeia, was in her first year.

"What is it?" Hermione asked, worry showing on her face. She had their five-year-old son, Scorpius, on her hip, which was becoming more and more difficult as she reached her sixth month of pregnancy with their third child.

"I don't know," Draco said, scratching his head. He slipped his finger under the lip of the envelope, opening it and unfolding it before reading it aloud.

_Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy,_

_I regret to inform you that your presence is needed at Hogwarts this afternoon. There has been an ongoing problem between your daughter and another student at school, and I've reached my wits end. Last evening, they were caught fighting in the hallways. I do not need to tell you how serious a problem this is. As Headmistress, and former Head of Gryffindor House, I have to tell you, it shames me to admit both students are from my own house._

_I shall request your presence today at 2:00 in my office. You may Floo directly, I've already connected your Floo to the school's._

_Yours,_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Headmistress, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

"Fighting!" Hermione gasped, her eyes wide. Cassie was stubborn, a trait she'd received from both parents, but never showed a violent sign in her whole life. "I just don't believe that. Cassie, fighting?"

"Calm down. We don't know what happened yet," Draco said, taking Scorpius from her arms, seeing how awkward it was for her to hold him like that. "I'll kill whoever started a fight with her."

"How do you know..." Hermione started but he cut her off.

"Cassie would never start a fight. She may be stubborn and hard headed, but she's not a fighter," Draco reasoned.

"I know, but I can't believe this," Hermione said, shaking her head and rereading the letter.

"Come on, love. I'll make us some breakfast. You call into work." Hermione just nodded and went to the Floo to let her boss know she wouldn't be coming in today.

* * *

Draco went through the Floo first in order to catch Hermione when she came through. He never liked to take chances when she was pregnant. She found it endearing. With Scorpius off at Luna's, they were free to deal with the problem at Hogwarts.

When Hermione came out, they turned to see who all was gathered. McGonagall was sitting behind her desk while Ginny and Harry were occupying two seats in front of her desk to the right.

"Harry," Hermione greeted, confused.

"Hi Hermione," Harry replied, looking somewhat embarrassed. _What the hell was going on?_

"Potter," Draco said with a respectful nod of the head. Ginny just scowled at both of them.

"Please, Mrs. Malfoy, sit," McGonagall said, her voice softer than her stern face would have suggested. Hermione sat in the seat next to Ginny and Draco took his place behind her seat, hands on her shoulders.

"Now that we are all here, I think we should talk about this before we bring the girls in," the headmistress said.

"I don't understand," Hermione said. "Cassie would never fight. What happened?" She looked at Ginny and Harry again, hoping for some insight from them.

"Since the first day of school, Lily Potter and Cassie Malfoy have had tension," McGonagall explained. Hermione was surprised she'd heard nothing about this. Cassie sent a letter home at least once a week and never mentioned anything. "I don't know how it started, but when they were both sorted into Gryffindor House, they hated each other. Cassie was often left out of things and still has trouble making friends because Lily informed the rest of the House that...well..."

Draco looked at the headmistress, then Harry and Ginny. "Informed them what?" he asked, an edge to his voice. He didn't like where this was going at all.

Harry looked down, his cheeks tinged with red as McGonagall cleared her throat. Ginny just continued to scowl. "She informed the rest of the house that her parents were adulterers. She told everyone that Cassie's mother cheated on her uncle while they were married, and that Cassie was likely the product of that affair."

Hermione's breath caught in her throat as she felt tears sting her eyes. "Why...why would she say something like that? She's just a little girl," Hermione asked, trying to control her breathing. Draco's grip on the back of her chair tightened and she knew he was moments from losing it.

"It was you, wasn't it?" Hermione said, turning to Ginny. "Harry would never bring his children into this," Hermione said, watching Harry shift uncomfortably. She and Harry might not have been close, but they maintained a superficial friendship over the years. Plus, this kind of manipulation was practically child abuse.

"I don't know what you are talking about," Ginny said, looking away from both of them.

"Yes you do," Draco spat. "You did this. You told your daughter things that a child should never have to hear, and turned her against mine!"

"Mister Malfoy, calm down," McGonagall instructed. "There is another issue. Cassie hit Lily, last night after one of their fights."

"Oh Merlin," Hermione said.

"Sounds like she deserved it," Draco scoffed.

"Hey!" Ginny snapped. "That's my daughter."

"Everyone just shut up!" Harry finally said, breaking his silence. "Ginny, you know very well you caused this. I never knew you told the kids these things. I talked to James on the way in. He told me you told him all about Cassie and to keep the other kids away from her."

Hermione couldn't help it. With the hormones and the fact that her baby girl had been going through hell at school, she began to cry. Draco quickly went to her, wrapping his fingers in hers as he tried to comfort her. "Why would you do that?" Hermione asked. "You hate me? Fine. You hate Draco? I don't think he cares either. But my daughter didn't do _anything_ to you. You are good enough at math to know she was no product of an affair, and even if she was, it's not your place to torture her about it." Hermione said, sniffling. "Ron wouldn't have wanted this."

"How do you know?" Ginny spat. "You left him."

"I know because I know _him_," Hermione said. "He never wanted it to be like this."

"I think I can see what happened here," McGonagall said, turning to Ginny and Harry. "I expect you two to have a talk with your daughter about this."

"Of course, Headmistress," Harry said, looking at his wife with disappointment.

"What about Cassie's punishment for attacking Lily?" Ginny asked.

"You mean, after your daughter tortured her?" Draco bit out.

"Cassie will receive detention, and I expect her to receive a lecture too, about not handling problems through violence," McGonagall answered as she looked towards the Malfoys. Hermione nodded in agreement, but Draco just scowled in anger.

"Lily, however, will be in special detentions with me until Christmas break," she continued. "I think she must understand that treating people, especially her housemates, like this will not be tolerated." Ginny looked about to protest but Harry nodded.

"That is more than reasonable," he agreed.

"Now, I shall bring both children in to tell them their punishments, then you can have some time alone with them," McGonagall said. All nodded in agreement and the kids were brought inside.

"Mummy, Daddy, I'm sorry," Cassie cried running to her parents. "I know I shouldn't have attacked her, but I couldn't take it anymore."

"We'll talk about it later," Hermione said, kissing her daughter on the cheek. Draco bent down and hugged her close.

"You aren't in trouble, sweetie," he said, just so she could hear.

Lily looked like a very unhappy child and just stood next to her parents, closer to her mother, waiting to hear her sentence. When McGonagall told them their punishments, both girls went their separate ways, without a word, following their parents.

"Let's go to the Astronomy Tower," Draco suggested, as he knew no one ever went out there while it was still light outside. Hermione nodded and followed her husband and daughter to their chosen destination.

"I'm sorry you got called here," Cassie said.

"It's okay, we were just worried," Draco said, pulling her into his lap as he sat on the steps of the tower. Hermione joined them, with a little help from her husband. Getting up and down wasn't as easy when you're pregnant.

"Honey, why didn't you tell us what was going on?" Hermione asked, tucking a stray blond hair behind her daughter's ear.

"I didn't want to upset you," Cassie said. "I thought it would stop. I don't know why she hates me so much." The little girl started to tear up, and Draco rubbed her back, feeling so helpless to fix what was wrong. He was her father, he was supposed to be able to fix everything, but this was not in his power.

"Honey, she doesn't hate you," Hermione said. "Lily is very confused because of things her mother told her that she doesn't understand. Has James been mean to you, too?"

Cassie shook her head. "He's my only friend," she said. "I think he feels guilty about his sister. But, when no one's around, he talks to me. I don't know what I would have done without him."

Draco wanted to scowl at the thought of his daughter hero-worshiping Potter's spawn, but if he made her feel better, he had to thank the lad for that. "Mummy?' Cassie said, looking up at Hermione. "Is it true you were married before? Is everything Lily said true?"

Draco and Hermione looked at each other and sighed. They had not wanted to tell their daughter about any of this, preferring to leave it in the past, but it seemed Lily and Ginny left them no choice.

"Not everything she said is true, my love," Hermione answered. "I was married before."

Cassie just nodded, digesting the information. "And...and am I...I mean, were you married to the other man when you and daddy made me?"

"No, honey," Draco said, hugging her tight. "Your mom and I were married to each other when we made you."

Cassie seemed to breathe a sigh of relief then. "I just want to be normal."

"I know," Hermione said. "I think, after all this, things might blow over. Lily won't bother you again, and the other kids will come around."

"I hope so," Cassie said.

"But, if not, let us know," Draco said. "Please don't keep things from us. We love you, and it is our job to be here for you."

"Okay, Daddy," Cassie said.

"Now off you go to dinner," Draco said, standing up and setting her down on the ground. They both helped Hermione up and made their way back to the main entrance. Harry and Ginny were dropping off Lily at the same time and Harry nudged his daughter toward Cassie.

"I'm sorry I said those mean things to you," Lily said. Surprisingly, she seemed more sincere than most eleven year olds did when they apologized.

"I'm sorry I hit you," Cassie returned. Hermione was proud of her, but Draco still thought the other girl deserved it. It was just a father thing.

Both girls headed into dinner and the adults turned back to each other. "I'm really sorry for all of this, Hermione," Harry said.

"I know," Hermione smiled. "I'm just worried about the long term."

"I've talked to Lily. She is going to make strides to get the other kids to befriend Cassie again. I'm very ashamed about all of this," Harry assured.

"Look," Ginny cut in, "I don't like you. I think you are little more than a selfish bitch." Hermione sighed heavily in response._Yes, we all know what you think, Ginny. _"But I shouldn't have used my children to get to you."

"No, you shouldn't have," Draco muttered. Ginny just ignored him.

"How about this?" Hermione said. "We just agree to let the kids be friends, and stay out of each other's way. I'm not _your_biggest fan, either."

"Fine," Ginny said.

"Goodbye Hermione...Malfoy," Harry said, escorting his wife from the school. He certainly wasn't done with this conversation. He could kill her for trying to manipulate the children.

Hermione turned to Draco and sighed. "Well, shall we go home?" Draco just smiled and nodded, leading her back toward the headmistress' office.

* * *

_June 2028_

Draco felt his breath catch in his throat when he saw his daughter. She looked beautiful. Her white Muggle wedding dress made her look like an angel, and he couldn't believe he was giving her away today. To James Potter of all people.

"How do I look, Daddy?" Cassie asked, twirling around.

"Beautiful," Draco said.

"Honey, are you almost ready?" Hermione called, coming into the room behind her husband. "Oh, baby, you are gorgeous!"

Cassie blushed and put the last finishing touches on her hair before taking her father's arm and letting him lead her to the wedding ceremony.

The engagement of Cassie Malfoy and James Potter got a lot of attention. Molly threw a fit, at first. Ginny hadn't been happy at all. However, Harry, and surprisingly, Ron, had played peacemaker. Reminding them that love was the most important and powerful force in the world, they forced the Weasleys to lay down their hatred, at least for the sake of the kids.

In a rousing speech by James, one night after a huge fight between Hermione and Ginny, his mother was reduced to tears when he said, 'if you can't get on board with this, you will find yourself without a son'. Finally, the tension stopped, at least for the most part, and the wedding planning got underway.

Harry was secretly excited about the match between his son and Hermione's daughter. He'd missed Hermione over the years and, now, he had an excuse to be in her life again. He hoped that they could rebuild some of what was broken over the years.

Hermione felt sad at the thought that this was the first time she'd seen all her old friends and family in over twenty years. They weren't her friends and family anymore. She'd created her own, with Draco. They were happy and she was loved, and in the end it was all worth it - even if she missed her old life sometimes. The new one she had was far superior. Her son was fifteen and on his way to becoming Head Boy. He'd made Slytherin, which made Draco ecstatic. Their second son, Sirius, was headed to Hogwarts next year, and she was sad to see her nest emptied.

Hermione smiled at Ron as she took her seat in the front row. He was there with his wife of fifteen years. After a year of moping, he'd gone out to see the world, hoping to get some perspective. On the way, he found Iris in France. She was more beautiful than Fleur Delacour, and she was smitten with him. They were unable to have children, so they adopted a boy and a girl, age ten and twelve respectively. They attended Beauxbatons and were beautiful, well-mannered children. She was so glad he'd received his happy ending because, if anyone deserved it, it was Ron.

Turning her attention back to the ceremony, she couldn't help but smile. Her daughter was getting her storybook wedding with her dream man. She'd get to have years and years with him without the drama of secrets and lies. For that, she was eternally grateful. When Draco gave their daughter away, he came to sit next to her, taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles softly.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you more every day," Hermione responded. He smiled at her and kissed her cheek before turning to watch his baby girl get married.

_The End._


	16. Author's Note

Hello everyone. Thank you so much for reading or rereading my story. About a year ago, I got a wild hair and decided to have all my stories beta'd. Little by little it's coming together. Just to clarify, I've updated the chapters of this story with the corrected ones, beta'd by the wonderful and talented **Rusty Weasley **as of **1/3/13. **

I hope you enjoy the story again, or for the first time. Never be shy to let me know what you think.

Thanks,

Krystle


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